26 June 2013

Cote de Texas VS Anonymous

 

One of the most discussed and frustrating aspects of this blog has been the Comment Section.  Judging by the numbers of people who read the blog (over 88,000 per month) by far, the great majority of you never leave a comment nor even read the Comment Section.  But, there is a small group of people who do frequently comment – loyal readers all, some of whom leave a comment on every single blog story.    After last week’s story – where over 150 comments were left – some of which were quite rude – I received many emails asking about what can be done to stop the rudeness and the bullying. 

So, I thought I would tackle this discussion once and for all and hopefully, we can all move on from it.

There are several ways to leave a comment – some readers are registered with either a gmail account or their registered name.  But for those without a gmail account, the easiest way to leave is a comment is by being “anonymous.”

Many of these anons will actually sign their name at the end of their comment so that we will know who they are.  But,  there are others who sign in as Anonymous, leave no name and they remain truly Anonymous by choice.

And there in lies the problem. 

Most of those who are Anon are great commenters.  They are respectful and kind, leaving words of encouragement, thanks, and appreciation.  But, there are the very few Anons who aren’t respectful nor kind, nor thankful, nor appreciative.   These few Anons can be downright mean, condescending, and ugly.   They are rude to homeowners and guest designers who are nice enough to show their houses on the blog and they are rude to me – about my house, my family, and my aesthetic.  The truth is, they don’t really bother ME.  My skin is thick and I can take the criticism from them, but, it’s the homeowners and guest designers that are disrespected here which truly bothers me and other readers. 

Understand this - there is only a handful of Anons that are the issue. 

Many have asked  – why do I allow it to continue?  The answer is there is no simple solution.  If I banned Anonymous comments, I would ban an awful lot of totally innocent people who just don’t happen to have a gmail account or who don’t wish to leave their name.   To ban all of the many innocent people who post under Anonymous just because of the very few troublesome Anons is just not fair.  

I could moderate the comments – in other words - not allow any comments to be posted on the blog until I have read them first.  I have been reluctant to do this for this reason:   If I got only a few comments – moderating would be an easy task.  But, usually the comments average at least 50 a story and sometimes as many 150 and even over 200.   Moderating a busy Comment Section would be a full time job, which I just don’t have the extra time to do. 

Another solution would be to just delete the nasty comments after they are posted – but by the time I would catch them, many have seen the comment and responded to it, thus rendering the deletion moot.   Again, if I got only a few comments a day, deleting would be a viable choice.  But then, there would be accusations of censorship.

And there is this – as bad as the few nasty Anons can be – they are also smart and quite humorous at times.  Many times they have good suggestions and they can be quite entertaining. Sometimes they say things or complain about something that we probably all agree with, but won’t say aloud.   As much as I would love the nasty Anons to disappear altogether, they do challenge me and keep me honest and in check.  They have a BS detector and when it is directed at me – it can be quite valuable.   But other times – when they are rude to guest decorators and homeowners – I want to round them up and give them a spanking or wash their mouths out with soap!

 I have also been asked why I don’t just block these mean Anons or why I haven’t “outed” them if I know who they are, since I have hinted at this for a while.   First, I can’t block individual people.   Second,  I do have a way of tracking who visits the blog and who leaves comments – through their IP Address.  So, if I know who they are, why not “out” them?    Because while I am convinced I know their correct identity, IP addresses are not infallible and there is a chance I could be wrong.   That’s why. 

The nasty Anons can be like schoolyard bullies – once they get our attention, they start to show off and can misbehave, badly.    Yet, most days, these same few obnoxious Anons can be quite well behaved.  They usually tend to get rambunctious when I show a house by a young or unknown designer – and then all hell breaks loose.   These two or three or four Anons will post comment after comment after comment – enraging everyone with their words.  Sparring with them only spurs them on and makes them leave even more comments.   It’s best not to engage them, not to answer them.  Like the playground bully, if you don’t interact with them, they will go somewhere else to get the reaction they crave.   Still, I admit, I am the most guilty of this interaction and answer them too much.   Usually, I just want to set the record straight or I want to defend the guest designer and homeowner.

Why am I talking about this at all?   Like I previously said,  all the mean commenting by a few Anons came to a head  last week.   I showed a house done by a relatively new local designer.  I LOVED the house.  LOVED it.  And most of you did too.  But, the few mean Anons really outdid themselves.   Over 150 comments were left – most of which was everyone arguing with these Anons.  Enough is enough.

I ask ONE thing of all commenters.  If there is a guest designer or a homeowner on the blog – PLEASE be respectful.   Imagine that you are touring the house with the designer or homeowner – don’t leave a comment that you wouldn’t say to their face on that home tour.   That’s all I ask!! 

I don’t mind, and I even encourage you to ask questions about the design process.   By doing so, we can all learn something.   I only ask that you be respectful.    There’s a nice way and a rude way to ask a question or to state an opinion.  

 

 

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For example –last week there were questions asked about the dark beams in the entry hall ceiling dome.   Some readers asked why the beams were added and why they were so dark.  The homeowner was gracious enough to answer these questions. 

She wrote:

 As for why the ceiling beams are dark...we actually contemplated making them a weathered lighter wood vs the dark that they are, but if you come to visit you will immediately agree and understand why we choose the darker wood...we have large double wood front doors in the same color scheme as well as other accents in the home such as the family room fireplace mantel and kitchen island that are the same.”

 

The questions and comments about the beams were valid.  I don’t mind AT ALL when people question design decisions that we can all learn from.   And this was a perfect example of that.   The question was asked and answered – both respectfully.

 

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There were also comments about the settee in the entry hall – some wondered if there was enough head room for a person to sit there.  Again, the homeowner answered:

 

“For the settee, you will not hit your head sitting on it unless you are a giant ;) Amanda did a wonderful job making this a home, that we now love, to raise our family in.”

 

 Again, question asked and answered, respectfully.

 

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Things got out of hand over the  discussion about the use of Restoration Hardware’s  “capital” tables versus antique ones – which Ginger Barber had used in a similar way – as I showed in a picture.   The Anons really hated that the designer had used Restoration Hardware furniture.  Here are a few of the comments about the RH tables:

 

“Yes, they are expensive, shockingly so for what they are. For the same money, the homeowner could have bought a more timeless piece rather than one that in a few years will be declared passe' like all of the other junk being hawked by RH at the moment. Perhaps the owner wanted RH. That piece of information has not be established. If, however, the young decorator recommended it, then the homeowner got poor advice. Now if one wanted to put a moat in their living room so that children can run around playing on it, then the capitals might have been the right idea.”

 

Again the homeowner kindly answered:

 

“My husband and I are in our early 30's and when we traveled we were still saving money to pay for school instead of collecting antiques as I wish. We also have two young children who still love to do cartwheels, draw on furniture, and play sword fights so I'm sure if we had antiques displayed they would be in crumbles in a matter of seconds ;)”

 

Though the question about the tables WAS a valid one, the Anon was very rude, yet, still the homeowner politely  answered.  The discussion about RH didn’t stop with her answer.  It went on and on with rude comments made about her children.    It did get me thinking though – is it true that if “the young designer recommended ‘RH' tables, then the homeowner got poor advice?”

Really - why - I thought?  Is it poor advice to recommend Restoration Hardware furniture to a client?  I had a real problem with that.  First, those RH tables are solid and functional, while the ones that Barber used, the true antiques, don’t seem nearly as functional as coffee tables, nor as safe for young children to be around. 

 

I commented:

“ I buy a lot of things from RH and so do Big Named Designers. You don't like those tables, I get that. Ok I do.   The owners do. That's why people's houses look different.”

 

Well, Anon didn’t like that answer one bit!!!

 He challenged me: 

 

“Name one "big name designer" that would put their name on anything currently in the RH catalog? Name one! You can't.”

 

So, I answered:

“Oh, I certainly can. I was told about this house where the source for the sofas was RH. I can't say who it was - call me a liar. I wouldn't have said it without having proof.”

 

So, he called me a liar because I didn’t want to the name the “Big Name Designer.”  Actually  - I was given pictures of a house designed by a “Big Name Designer” where the sofas were indeed from RH.  I just didn’t feel right about naming the designer, since he hadn’t sent me the pictures himself.  But, that wasn’t good enough for Anon.

 

He told me:  

 

“Indeed you can't name one or you would. So we are to trust your say so here because you are desperate to make a point. If you truly know a "Big Name Designer" as you referred to them who uses RH, please tell us who that designer is or don't make up convenient truths..”

 

A few people stuck up for me (thank you!) and talked about a house that was just shown in House Beautiful where indeed a “Big Name Designer” had used Restoration Hardware.  Even that wasn’t good enough for Anon.  He raised the bar higher.  Even though he said I couldn’t name one “Big Name Designer” who would ever put their name on something from RH – Shubel’s was an exception for a myriad of reasons that he cited below: 

 

“The Stephen Shubel house was lovely, but what you failed to mention and what is evident from the pictures is that Shubel did not use catalog and on line sources exclusively. He has used a bare minimum of these pieces in rooms where they are sat amongst finer pieces of furniture, beautiful wall coverings, fabric and rugs. Therein lies the difference. For instance, he pairs beautifully the Crate and Barrel dining chairs, with a pair of antique chairs and the West Elm cube benches draped in simple linen are featured in front of a beautiful window treatment as well as wall treatment. This is both a clever and wonderful way to incorporate pieces that a homeowner has selected not only for style but to minimize cost. What Shubel did not do is deliver a truck load of exclusively catalog and online sources and say "job done."

 

But – the truth is - neither did THIS designer.  She mixed in things both new and things old that the clients had, like their mirror and the dining room table.  It wasn’t all bought from a catalogue, nor was it all bought from RH.  And the homeowner didn’t want antiques. 

Still, I thought more about this issue.  I know a lot of designers DO use Restoration Hardware.  I know I do, but I’m not a “Big Name Designer.”  So I decided to look at House Beautiful’s recent issues and see exactly if other designers used RH or do they only use custom furniture - hand made pieces designed only for their client, along with priceless antiques.   Because – let’s face it – unless it’s handmade or custom or antique – it comes from a catalogue on a truck and most companies now take orders online.

And, let me say this – I was surprised how easy it was to find Restoration Hardware pieces in House Beautiful stories, also in Elle Décor and Architectural Digest.    I even found the dreaded “capital” tables!

So, Anon, here are just a few “Big Name Designers” who readily put their name on items from Restoration Hardware.

 

 

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You may remember this beautiful house shown in House Beautiful last September.  Designed by the “Big Name Designer” Benjamin Dhong, the house is located in San Francisco and is owned by a single Englishman who wears bespoke suits and drives an Aston Martin.  Dhong says he loves contrasts and he likes houses that mix the high with the low.  He finds rooms filled with only expensive and pretty things to be “vulgar.”    Yet, his designs – even with a plethora of online sources – look exceeding luxe. 

 

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The dining room is a mix of high and low – as are all these rooms.  Here, pricey wallpaper hangs on the walls, while carpet remnants!! stitched together cover the floor.  Vintage chairs from Tara Shaw sit with a Knoll table top and Julian Chichester table base.

 

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The table? Antique?  Nah – it’s just Oly Studio – a company defined by its online accessibility.

 

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Let’s take this room.  The guest room.  The bed is new, made to look like a Chippendale design – from Ceylon et Cie.  The carpet?  Inexpensive seagrass.  The table?  Inexpensive catalogue Jonathan Adler.  The wallpaper – the most expensive there is – De Gournay.  The chair?  Yep!  The dreaded Restoration Hardware. 

 

 

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Another picture of the glorious guest room. 

 

 

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The living room in the house has expensive wallcovering and a Starke rug.

 

 

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And along one side of the living room, there is a Tara Shaw repro Swedish chair hidden underneath a – horrors! –Z Gallerie throw!  (I actually bought that same throw for my niece’s bedroom.)

 

 

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And, here, the main seating area of the dressy living room,  is the slipcovered Restoration Hardware sofa with two copies of the famous Egg chair.  Gosh! Restoration Hardware in the living room?????  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Antique chair is mixed with a desk from – Restoration Hardware!

 

 

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Oh lord!!!!!!  Oh no!!!!!!!  The dreaded Restoration Hardware “Capital” table.  I had to laugh when I saw this picture.  This table – which the nasty Anons ridiculed to death – shown here in House Beautiful, in a house designed by the uber chic Benjamin Dhong – a highly regarded and respected “Big Name Designer” – well, well, well.  And two RH chairs flank the Capital table.   In the breakfast room, there are chairs from Design Within Reach.  The rug?  West Elm. 

Hmmm.  Did Dhong just order a truck load of furniture from catalogues and have it delivered?  Well yes.  But he did add some expensive wall treatments and art work in the mix, along with a few pricey vintage pieces – all easily affordable to the bespoked dressed Englishman.  Maybe a family, not quite as liquid, could start out with the basics and add to it over the years?    Is that a lazy designer – who provides a good solid base for the family to grow into as children age and bank accounts grow?   For shame, Anon!!!

 

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Another view of the family room and the Capital table and chair from RH.  I think Anon owes last week’s designer and homeowner an apology.  Don’t you????

 

 

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Here is the living room shown last week with two of the RH Capital tables – which I love.  Will the homeowners and designer add more to the room as time goes by?  Maybe or maybe not.  They might like the room just as it is now, or they may want to add a pricey antique chair or table in here one day.  I like the room just as it is.

 

And another house:

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This month House Beautiful showed two houses with Restoration Hardware merchandise, but one was not designed by a “Big Name Designer” – and I already showed it a few weeks ago.  The second house WAS designed by the VERY “big name designer” Stephen Shubel which was discussed earlier by a commenter.  The house is on a few acres in the Sonoma wine country.    According the Shubel, the owner found cheaper versions of furniture he had picked out.  Much was bought online and from catalogues.  NO!!!!!!  What a LAZY designer!!!!  The chandelier here is from Curry and Company – the same company that our guest designer, Amanda Carol, used in her designs.  The sofa – Restoration Hardware.  The white table by Oly Studio is a homage to one by John Dickinson – which Shubel probably wanted, but  this was a cheaper version of that.  While the original table probably cost over  $8000, the copy is so much cheaper.  Do you really need the original to get the same look?  Shubel obviously didn’t think so.  Hmmm.  Really?   Use a copy instead of the original?   What BAD advice Shubel gave these homeowners!!!  They should ask for a refund!!

 

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Another view of the living room – shows Restoration Hardware’s copy of a French chair – upholstered in both a print and a plain fabric.  Wow!  Just what Amanda Carol did with HER client’s chairs.  Amazing.  Pillows are both custom and Z Galleries.  Mirror tables from West Elm.  Actually – there is nothing antique or pricey in this room at all.  It’s all new and mostly inexpensive.   Much was ordered from catalogues and came delivered on a truck.  And yet- here is the house, shown in prestigious House Beautiful.

 

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Dining room chairs are a mix of vintage and Aidan Gray.  Chandelier – Oly Studio.

 

 

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The guest room has bedding by Z Gallerie and nightstands from Aidan Gray.  The stools are 19th century – the only pricey item in the room.

 

 

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The master bedroom has stools from  Wisteria and the bed is from, yes, Restoration Hardware.  Mixed with a Stark rug, the room looks more custom than catalogue – yet besides the rug it IS all catalogue.  So lazy.  Such bad advice!  Why did House  Beautiful even publish this house???? 

I hope you realize I am using sarcasm here.

 

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In the garage turned into pool house – Serena and Lilly ottomans mix with the Restoration Hardware sofa and Shades of Light chandelier.

So, is Shubel a lazy designer for turning to catalogues and online stores?  No!  But our guest designer was called that for doing the same exact thing.  Go figure.

 

 

And yet another:

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In House Beautiful last November “Big Name Designer” Thom Filicia showed off his lake house.  Most was decorated using his own very reasonably priced furniture line – for Vanguard.

 

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But he filled in places with Restoration Hardware – like this light fixture, which I love!

 

 

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And this light fixture.  He also used a RH mirror over the fireplace.

 

And yet, another example:

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In November 2011, “Big Name Decorators” and hot duo Parrish Chilcoat and Joe Lucas used Restoration Hardware’s leather chair in this living room owned by a professional hockey player. 

 

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For his outdoor living space, Restoration Hardware provided all the seating, except for the Ikea deck chair.  Ikea??!!!

 

 

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My favorite blogger and designer Brooke Giannetti of Velvet and Linen chose Restoration Hardware curtains in this house she decorated. 

 

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and in the living room too  -  Restoration Hardware curtains.

 

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And in the fabulous dining room – Restoration Hardware chairs  - hosts in leather.  Gorgeous!   Don’t the basket lights make the room?

 

 

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And in this dining room shown  last week – the host chairs remind me of the ones Brooke chose.  Beautiful!

 

And so, I think we can put to bed the comments about ordering from catalogues and Restoration Hardware – and whether “Big Name Designers” order from   RH too.  They do.  I can’t tell you how many times Restoration Hardware was sourced in all the major magazines.  It doesn’t mean you are lazy or unimaginative to use sources like these.   If you like the Capital table – then order it! 

And one last point on this subject – an Anon wrote in making fun of me for calling it a Capital Table instead of Capitel.   I looked up Capitel – there is no such word in the English dictionary – it is Spanish.  But, under Capital, you will find:

 

Definition of CAPITAL

the uppermost member of a column or pilaster crowning the shaft and taking the weight of the entablature

 

Just saying.

 

And then, there was this comment from Jamie:

 

“Amanda is a great designer. People forget when looking at a designer’s work that the client has the ultimate say.  As designers we don't get everything we want for a client's home.   We compromise. Many clients don't like antiques, so we compromise. Or they decide that they want draperies but those are expensive so woven shades under the draperies aren't worth it.   So we compromise.    That's how it goes.”

 

Anonymous used this minor point about shades to put me and my aesthetic down, by responding:

 

“Jami, woven shades under draperies is an invention of this blog. You are not likely to see this treatment in many places in other parts of the country except Texas. I personally can't think of a better way to ruin the look of expensive fabric and beautiful windows than to put those cheap looking shades under them. Ask yourself a question and truly answer it honestly. Would you really use these hideous shades had you not first seen them here?”

 

The comment is of course directed against me since I like textured or bamboo shades under curtains in certain circumstances.   His comment made me laugh – as IF I invented using bamboo shades under curtains – or as IF they are only used in Texas.  “Hideous” shades.   True, I do like to use shades – I like that look – but even more, I like to use to shades to hide imperfections in windows, such as short windows, or unbalanced ones.  And I like to use shades to cover the “dead space” between the rod and the fabric. 

 

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For instance in my bedroom – I used a long shade to hide the fact that there is really only one very short and very long window here.  Instead, now it looks like there are three  perfectly balanced and proportionally placed windows.  By placing the rod at the molding, the window appears taller and the room, in turn, appears taller.  It’s a smooth, clean line.

 

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Notice these windows – to make them appear taller, the rod was placed at the ceiling.  Yet, there is the dead space between the rod and the window that tells you how tall the windows truly are – your eye is not fooled.  If they had raised the shades up to the rod – you truly wouldn’t be able to tell how short the window really is.  And this is just a messy look – to me.  By raising the blind you would get a cleaner, less fussy, look.

 

 

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Again- the dead spot.  How much more graceful and pretty the window would be if the shade was raised to the rod to cover the dead spot.  No one is fooled that the window is taller than it is.  Still, a very pretty room!

 

 

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For this client, I used the shades to bring the windows up higher than they actually are.  By placing the rods and curtains higher than the window frame and then adding the shade, it fools the eye that the window is taller.  Additionally, I like the contrast of the dark shade against the ivory fabric. 

 

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Sometimes, like in my family room, I use shades just because I like the look of the shade and how it adds to the color scheme and brings needed texture to the room.

 

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Sometimes, like in my living room, I don’t use shades at all. 

 

Still, the Anon got me thinking – am I really the only person who uses these hideous, cheap looking shades?  Or are they only found in Texas?

 

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I looked around for “Big Name” Houston designers who use shades – and had trouble finding any.   Here, though, Jane Moore used very expensive and beautiful Conrad shades under silk curtains.  Hideous?  No.

 

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This picture shows a beautiful living room, NOT in Texas, with shades and curtains. 

 

 

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In a Chicago townhouse, Alessandra Branca used bamboo shades and curtains.

 

 

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And in an apartment in Rome, Italy, she used shades and curtains.

 

 

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In this beautiful bedroom, Conrad shades used under curtains – again, not in Texas.

 

 

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In California, shades and curtains.

 

 

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More luxe Conrad shades and silk curtains.

 

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“Big Name Designer” Suzanne Kasler used shades and curtains in this living room.

 

 

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And Nate Berkus used shades and curtains.

 

 

 

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Love this look in a Charleston house, though I would have raised the shade above the molding.

 

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And again in California – curtains and  shades.  So hideous, I know!

 

 

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I love the ikat curtains mixed with bamboo blinds here.  I love the texture they add.

 

 

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And here, paisley mixed with Conrad shades.

 

 

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 And in this family room – curtains and shades – not in Texas and not hideous.

Would the anon apologize for his comment?  I doubt it.

 Last week, when I begged that the Anons please be respectful, this is answer I got back:

 

“Joni, no apologies required. If one is not ready for prime time, one should not publish their designs. It's really that simple. You insult your readers by requesting that they ignore some of the obvious mistakes. You have a sophisticated readership, both homeowner and professional and to require that we dish out praise where it is not warranted is simply hypocritical and disingenuous at best. I won't do it, so sue me!!”

 

To this I say – not everything I show will be ready for “prime time.”  Many houses, including mine and my client’s are not ready for House Beautiful or Architectural Digest, but they are pretty enough to be shown on a BLOG.  This is a BLOG, not a magazine.  It is FREE.  If you had to pay to look at houses shown here, then you might have a point. 

I am constantly asked by readers – why do you only show expensive houses?  Why not show houses that we normal people live in?  And – I do try to do that – as often as I can.   I don’t show houses to insult the sophisticated reader.   I show houses that all readers – sophisticated, wealthy, older, younger, or unsophisticated – can enjoy.  Not all readers are the same and not all readers will enjoy each and every house. 

Additionally, I don’t ask that you dish out praise, whether it is warranted or not.  I encourage your questions about design choices.   I only ask ONE thing – that you be respectful of the guest designers and homeowners.   That’s all I have ever asked of you.    Notice I am not included in that description. 

I hope we can all move on and try to be respectful to each other from now on.  I hope I have answered all your questions about  this subject, but feel free to ask them if I haven’t.  Like I said previously – even the Anons add to the discourse.   I don’t want to silence them or ban them because everyone, even them, bring some positive aspects to the comment section.  I only ask that they be respectful.   Is that too much?

 

 

411 comments:

  1. Yours isn't the only blog I read that was hit by rude, anonymous readers last week. That is the ONE thing we tell our children - treat others with respect. Even if you dislike a certain look, there is a way to voice that opinion, which is valid, without being rude. Too bad Anon's momma didn't raise him/her better.

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  2. Yeah, I think Elements of Style had a really bad experience as well. Joni, what I need to ask you though, why do you care? I get that its upsetting but why engage someone who is an obvious a--hole? Why give this person any time at all? The only purpose of these comments is to hurt someone's feelings and make oneself seem important and valid somehow. You can't reasons with all the losers and haters in the world. Douche is a douche is a douche. No valid comments or respectful tone, just some stupid self-important gibberish. Have they done anything worth while? He/she is such a coward, if he/she feels so strongly about stuff like that then at least use your name. Blech. And to anon, please do not address her on behalf of her readership. WHAT A LOSER.

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    1. Why do I care? Seriously? Because, I am upset about getting emails and calls from designers, but mostly homeowners who are hurt by these rude and mean comments - especially those that are directed at their personal life, i.e. children. I don't like that - I don't like that they came on my blog as a guest and were vilified. That's why. I thought I made that clear. And, for a lessor reason, I hear from designers that they won't put anymore work up here because it is bad for business. That's why. I don't want to ruin someone's business!!!! Jeez, I thought everyone understood this. It actually bothers my conscience. I feel badly, I feel guilty. I feel responsible.

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  3. Hi Joni! Great post. You bring valid points about anon both for and against. All this is inevitable and even though you are a blog - the fact is you are a de facto magazine and all the stature and respect and vulnerability that comes with it. I would take it as a compliment. Sure it can be hurtful but I think we all know the score. Funny the anon came to my blog the other week and left a bitter comment but I gathered it was one of the anons you are mentioning as I had commented and I didn't let it affect me one bit. This just shows you in a better light and I respect you even more now with the way you are dealing with it! :)

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  4. Joni I adore your decorating taste and this blog! I don't blame you for addressing such "bullying"....some folks are so miserable in their lives that they want everyone to feel it too. Sounds like this person is green with envy over your talent!

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  5. DO NOT LET "them" win...I just read "Elements of Style" and it hurts me as a READER. DO NOT LET THEM WIN. franki

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    1. In case you don't know this everyone - Erin from elemnts of Style was attacked by an anon pretending to be a well known Boston designer. Erin stuck up for herself and then later learned the comments were from an impostor. Sounds like that should be illegal, but it's not. It's reallly dangerous too. Thankfully the designer called her to let her know it wasn't him. I guess if I get a rude email from Suzanne Rheinstein, I'd check into it first rather than react. Lesson learned.

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  6. Hi again Joni,

    It is honestly hard to believe that people will make time, and a lot of it, to be mean spirited. It is a general lack of character, so very prevalent in the world today. Our internet, and even road (driving) anonymity has allowed us rudeness that would otherwise cast us as social pariahs. I think this is a sign of a deeper social issue, which is simply this, everyone thinks their opinion really matters, and it doesn't. Sorry. None of us are the center of the universe. It is just an opinion, just like my opinion, and Joni's opinion, etc. I love this blog, love it. Design for me is escapism, and grounding. I know that may seem like opposites, but beauty and order are part of God's plan on earth, and seeing others work and homes is simply magic..... Get over yourself anonymous writers. If you have something important to say, be bold enough to put your name on it.

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    1. Great comment. - Tanya

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  7. I just wish I could afford RH and probably half the people meaning hateful do too. My sister's house is small compared to these homes, but she has done her house in it and I bet you would like it. :- ) She has great taste!! I do appreciate your beautiful posts and pictures. I talk about your blog all the time! It is better than getting to go to Godiva!!

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  8. Joni, I do love your blogg and I feel bad that I don't comment as often as I should. You put so much effort into the story and pictures and sometimes I don't have time to read it all on the same day but I do appreciate all that you put on your blogg. You transport me into a world of design and colour and variety and fun. I love all that you do and am sorry that there are so many rude people out there who have nothing better to do than slam you for all the inspiration you give to all of us. Please keep on keeping on. WE LOVE YOU!! (From WendyW, Brisbane, Australia)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Wendy, don't feel bad about not commenting! the vast majority never do!!!

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  9. I'm Anon only because I'm at work and this is quick - you write a lovely blog and I appreciate it. It's always a pleasure to take a 'mini-vacation' at my desk and look at pretty homes. As a bonus, I get many useful ideas. Keep up the good work, Joni - and I have a cell pic of the before-and-after when I raised the bamboo shades in my dining room to just below the crown molding. Even my guy commented on how much better the room looked once that simple change was made - so thank you! (Now if I could just get him to move the curtain rods farther out, I'd consider it a total victory!)

    I'm so sorry a few people (who are clearly very unhappy souls) keep trying to ruin everyone's day.

    Thanks,
    Wendy

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    Replies
    1. love this~ YES!!!!! move those rods out past the window about 4 or 5 inches - another way to stretch the size of the opening! PLUS - you put the fabric on the walls and less on the window and then u don't block the view. I need to write about that issue.

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  10. I love your blog and amen to the anonymous comments. We can disagree, dislike, but we need to respect. I love that your blog shows highend mixed with items that most people can think about affording. Not everyone can afford custom furniture, and even Restoration Hardware prices are difficult, plus not all of us want to use the same pieces forever. I have some very lovely antiques, but I'm tired of them, but because they're antiques I feel I need to keep plus some are family pieces.
    Joni, keep up the good work!

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  11. To you the glory, Joni. You are somebody doing something. Anon would move on if it weren't for the huge platform you created.

    You are like Merv Griffin, Dinah Shore, Johnny Carson, Oprah, Jay Leno, Ellen, ....... highlighting the talents of others.

    I appreciate your platform and am so proud of you for creating it from nothing.

    Garden & Be Well, XO TAra

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    Replies
    1. Thanks sweetie, but you're showing your age - Dinah Shore? Merv Griffin? ahahaha! I want to be more like Jimmy Kimmel.

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  12. Dear Joni ! I'm one of those anons ! Also I do not always have to like what you publish I do highly estimate your blog done with so much love, knowledge and humour. And by the way: Here in Europe it is highly regarded superchic to mix the old and the new, the cheap and the expensive. We regard this as original also in dressing by mixing Hermès and H&M for instance. How boring are Period Rooms ?! Go on with your fablulous blog ! Best wishes and do not care about stupid people ! Ingris from France

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  13. Joni, I have never left a comment before, but today I feel compelled to do so. I LOVE your blog! I can't wait to see what you are showing next. Some of us are just frustrated decorators on limited budgets who would love to be able to buy at Restoration Hardware! Your blog gives us ideas and designs to strive for in our own homes. Some of us have to use inexpensive copies and shop at places like Homegoods. Oh my! But, your blog is full of inspiration and one CAN make a beautiful home on limited resources. It is hard to believe that there are so many snobs out there. Please keep it coming and thanks for the effort you put into your wonderful blog. Linda B.

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  14. I've never commented before but couldn't believe all that was written. As a young mom, I appreciate seeing the houses that include reproduction antiques and lovely - yet not always extravagant interiors. I would love to be able to furnish my home with expensive purchases, but we are not in that life stage - and frankly, may never be. Part of what makes a good designer is their ability to work well and understand the needs and lifestyle of their clients. Please keep sharing homes of all different styles. That is what makes it fun. As for this other person, I'm just sad for you. -Ashley

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  15. I heard this saying. " Rude people behave rudely". You should just explain to any homeowners you talk about to expect a rude comment here or there. These anon need to get a life!

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  16. Great post! Your blog is ALWAYS amazing!

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  17. I LOVE your blog, all of it!

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  18. I guess it's my Southern upbringing, but I just can't understand why people have to be so rude. There are some bitter, unhappy folks out there making those comments! I'm not a designer, but I can certainly respect the talent and vision even if it's not always my style. Thank you for sharing your beautiful blog and for all the ideas. I think it's great that you showcase new designers. We all needed help in beginning our careers in whatever field we chose. Best of luck to you and I look forward to every blog!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Abby-my Northern upbring taught us that if one has nothing nice to say don't say anything. Usually there is something nice to say somehow. I think you are so right about unhappy people spreading their unhappiness Maybe it's just time to spread more thanks and gratitude to those who work so hard to enrich our lives.
      Pam

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  19. When I clicked on your blog to read this morning, my heart was so heavy to find out that people think it is ok to attack homeowners and their houses. I love your blog and I am one of those that never comments. I always get excited when I see a new post, just like opening a Tiffany box and seeing a new jewel. What some do not realize is that they are not being critical of a model house, but someone's home. The homes you show and the designers you feature are wonderful. Do I love everything and every home? No, but I can always come away with an appreciation for others' homes and tastes. I think the RH table bases were a wonderful choice, if antiques had been used they may have lead paint on them which would not be a wise choice with children. As for the use of bamboo shades, I love them and when I see them in magazines I immediately think of you. Lenora Jane

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  20. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS loooove your blog! Thank you so much! With great appreciation, Antonia B.

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  21. Joni, I love your blog and all the work you put into it. While Anons do sometimes state what we are all too polite to say, the rudeness of some of it is beyond me. We can't have all FLUFF and Frou Frou on the blogs, but debate and differences is valuable in that an opinion can be swayed or one can become more educated to, and open to other ideas. It's how it is done. Courtesy and respect are always in style.

    I recently had my kitchen featured with several other dark wood kitchens on a popular blog and being a little thin skinned, I did feel the "ouch" when comments weren't so nice. I noticed it too, when you did the Rachel Ashwell post.All the talk about Shabby Chic being for students, and without any design merit, touched my "insecurity" nerve as I had just spent 2 months re-doing my website with a shabby chic feel. I had instant doubts, then realized that my site reflected my style and personality and I couldn't let these people take away from something I was very proud of.

    So yes, commenters,please be appropriate. Don't cow-tow or pander to the writer, but make your point in a way that doesn't belittle, mock or degrade someone.

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    Replies
    1. To be a blogger and to open your life, you have to develop a thick skin or you will get an ulcer. the first time i showed my work, i remember getting upset at the mean comments - but now, they actually make me think and laugh too. it's the bullying of the innocent homeowners that really bother me to no end.

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  22. I was so sorry to read, for the second time this week, that bloggers are receiving rude comments. I think you do a great job and I think we are always looking to see combinations that work, some we will like more than others, but that is personal taste. Not to long ago I had to do a four bedroom house to accomodate a father and four children in a month. Obviously in that time frame I had to buy alot of retail furniture. It was quite a learning experience and I found by combining a little of everything retail on the market I could give this family a very individual look with style. I think all designers use everything available to us and can work with people with different budgets because of it. There are some blogs I follow, not because they are my taste, but because I see a totally different aesthetic which reminds me to become more open to new ideas and keeps me thinking outside the box.

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  23. Joni,

    The internet makes for a world without manors. I'm sure these people would never say this kind of thing face to face and so the internet lets them throw away civility. I wan't you to know when I see a new Cote de Texas post I save like when you get your favorite magazine in the mail. You wait till you have some quiet time to sit still and go over every detail that is how it is with your posts. You pour so much effort into them. So I thank you, Joni Webb for your wonderfully written blog...it's a treasure!

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  24. I love this post Joni and you made some very valid points. People need to remember that whether or not you’re commenting on a blog or in person you need to have some manners and be respectful. I think some people hide behind the computer and that isn’t what computers were meant for, they’re for information good or bad. I for one love RH and pair their pieces with antiques and they blend seamlessly. As for shades I also pair shades with drapes I like the look. As for you always showing expensive homes I have never once noticed that. The homes are meant to give us ideas and I’ve taken away many. We are all adults here not children needing to be mean and I hope others remember that whether or not you agree with what Joni has posted.

    XXX
    Debra~

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    Replies
    1. you use shades??? but you aren't from Texas! i don't get that!!! ahah! thanks for your sweet comment - you are always so nice here.

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  25. Haven't read all the comments, so excuse any repetition; just wanted to add my two cents.

    You will never solve the problem of curmudgeonly Anon and his snarky comments; some people just live to annoy, carp and sow discord and the blog forum gives them ample opportunity. The format also allows for cowardice, since no sane person would be as rude in any face-to-face encounter.

    My best advice in dealing with such folks is following my grandmother's dictum; ignore them. Without a response, the most egregious of the nasties will wither on the vine, they live for confrontation and thrive on other people's being upset by their contentious comments. I say let them stew in their own bile while the rest of us skim over them to the more pleasant and intelligent comments. For those rude but otherwise interesting comments, one can respond to the intelligent point while ignoring or dismissing the rudeness.

    Love the blog, the outlook and most of the comments, from pleasant to respectfully dissenting.

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  26. Joni, you published my home several years ago in your reader's series and yes, there they were, the ugly anon comments! Was I upset- a little, but, not a lot. I did realize some of their criticism was valid. On the other hand, I like you, have a think skin. It is very easy to wound people with words and I can understand why this is a concern, particularly hurtful to someone like a young designer gracious enough to share her work in such an open forum. Certainly, we want the ability for lively discussion and a variety of opinions. But, as you have repeatedly asked, why not comment in a respectful, non-personal and mature manner?

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    1. I did? when? i didn't realize that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  27. I am always shocked by the rude comments left on your blog by some people. I would not publish them - period. If people spoke to you face-to-face this way you would not allow the abuse, and you do not have to allow it here. It is insulting to you and frankly to other readers of the blog.

    No fuel, no fire.

    You produce the most complete profile of a subject on a blog I have ever seen, it is always a joy to sit and read the postings. I enjoy the way you always point out specific details that my eye might have missed and find you have taught me how to digest the design further. The bottom line is that design is really a matter of taste, not who's label it is or isn't.

    Keep doing what you are doing - I love the information and design. If ANON can ever get off their very high horse they may learn a thing or two {starting with respect}.

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    Replies
    1. i know, i hear you - but as much as i had to admit it, i did - the anons do make valid points a lot of the time. so, it's hard to just dismiss them. i just wish they did so respectfully!!!

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  28. As for the anonys that feel they have to be rude...I wonder why they go out their way to say nasty things ? This was a problem a year ago and even 2 years ago. I still do read your blog but have skipped the comments in the last year due to this snarkiness of some anony commenters.

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  29. Ooops- a thick skin (not thinking- ha)

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  30. It's interesting to me that this "anon" who is so "educated and experienced" in interior design has ample time to read and rudly discredit the postings on this blog. Perhaps if he finds the selections so offensive, he should start his own blog or - thought - NOT READ this one and leave it to those of us who find joy and ideas at all price points from you excellent and extensive postings. I personally love the blog and am excited to see it pop into my in box! Thanks for blogging -- we love it!
    Ann

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  31. Good for you Joni! Well, you certainly put him/her in their place! It's just pathetic that we have gotten to this point. I can just picture these horrible people sitting in their underwear in their parent's basement spewing vile comments, degrading others out of jealousy, fear or both. I cannot imagine what brings a person to that place. Very sad... You are a bright light to so many, never forget it!!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks and thank everyone for your kind words - but I didn't want this to be about me - more about an explanation of the situation since i get so many questions about it via private emails.

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  32. Bravo! Well said.By the way,I sign in anon because I do not have a gmail account.However,what is the point of being rude?These people who say nasty things are just unhappy or jealous.
    I have asked design questions of you a few times and you are always lovely and gracious which is reflected in your home as well


    Debbie

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    Replies
    1. most people are anon - or many people are anon because of the google mail requirement. i wish you could just sign in with your name! but you really can't.

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  33. I am so sorry that you are having to endure these horrible folks who haven't learned the old lesson "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.". Not saying we should all agree, but just saying that being nice is not in vogue anymore and that makes us a much less civilized society. How sad for us as a whole.

    While I do not agree with everything any designer does, I have learned so much on this blog. You were the impetus to say, No, I do want the drapes to the ceiling!. You were also the impetus to say, No, I'm not following the current trend and will do what is comfortable for us. I wish I could afford the RH tables.. they are so cool. And look perfect in the home you showed. And I loved the dark beams, they made sense to me.

    Thanks for the great blog and the great ideas you share!
    xo marlis

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  34. Dear joni, i love your blog and think it is so unfortunate that the snarky "so sue me" anon is too thick to comprehend your request to be respectful. The more he/she writes, the more evident it becomes that the person is victim of bad circumstamce. There is no need to go to such lengths to be argumentative, but the dysfunctional mind wont't grasp that either. So sad. thank you for being professional and witty, and for continuing to share your amazing insigthts through your amazing blog. LG in Houston

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  35. Joni~ Thanks for writing such a wonderful blog! I enjoy reading it weekly. Keep up the good work!

    Julie

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  36. I am one of those that only read and never comment I learn from your amazing blog and really enjoy all the different homes you show, some i really like and others not as much but don't feel compelled to tell every one what I think. Those Anon people use this as a power play trying to make themselves feel like an expert when in fact design is very subjective with no real rules, it is really about what the homeowner likes and feels comfortable with.

    Thank you for all your hard work on this blog i always look forward to your posts!

    LeeAnn in Spring

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  37. A well said mouthful! I have learned a great deal from reading your posts and will continue to be an avid fan.

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  38. A wonderful post, well written, so informative. Mother always said if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all, looks like some should learn some manners. Look forward to your posts and all that you share. fondly ~lynne~

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  39. Here's what I don't get: Why do these anons continue to read your blog in the first place? If they are offended by the content, why not unsubscribe? You don't have 88,000 readers for nothing. Like me, the vast majority love it!

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  40. Tell 'em Joni! I think a sign of an amazing designer is to take something ordinary and make it extraordinary. Tastefully done rooms are done at all price points with one of a kind items as well as mass produced items.
    I am an "anon" commenter because I can't figure out how to do it differently.

    Monica

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    1. Wowsers....how funny to hear the ugly opinions of so called 'experts'. Most of us out here are just regular folks that enjoy decorating their home. I am always inspired by the beautiful things you post. While I have been amused on occasion by the expense of the high end stuff, I enjoy it all. Really, Anon?? Snobbery is so 2012...... Who knew RH is 'junk'. Most folks would die to have some of that 'junk'. I also realize those aren't the people Anon is talking to, but perhaps he should. It takes a lot of talent to make a room beautiful on a REAL budget, and a very little to just write out big checks. That would be so easy. Let's send out Anon with $500 to do an ENTIRE room and see what he/she comes up with. I'll bet you my room would win hands down. What a goober head... Thanks, Joni, for all you do!
      Barbara Moore

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    2. I would love to be able to take up that challenge. %500. !! it would be fun!

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  41. There must be something terribly wrong to be an Anon, that has to say such rude, condescending things. I feel sorry for him or her. Armchair designers! Dropped on their head as a small child. Not sure what the problem is, but it's pathetic! Joni, I wish you would not have given so much time to the Anon who said these things. He doesn't deserve it! You put so much time and research into your blog. It's better than many of the magazines and I really appreciate it. No one forces readers to subscribe. If this isn't your style, move on. If you aren't happy, go try to ruin someone else's day!
    Barbara Bussey (It's not hard to get a Google account, Annony's. "Man up" if you're going to say something nasty. Put your name on it!)

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  42. I love your blog and all that comes with it!

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  43. Great post Joni, I appreciate the time you spent posting the RH and binds pics to prove the "bad seed" incorrect BUT
    I encourage you and all readers to adopt a non-response policy to the rude anons. Life is short,don't waste time replying to their drivel.

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  44. You know, I won't watch reality T.V. because of the hurtful, _itchy, drama life force sucking content and commentary. It makes my stomach hurt and erodes my sense of love, peace, and hope! I listened to an interview by BONO yesterday. He said "The work of love, is to see the potential in others!" Like Joni said so eloquently, "This is a blog!" My friends that are very successful designers have developed thick skins and tell me that the comment section seems to be par for the course in the design world. They love working with homeowners, trades and artist, but the other designers are where they (I've seen it when I lunch with them) are so comfortable being a little rude. It is like someone appointed them the Don of all things tasteful or NOT! Homes are our nests. Homes are the sanctuary in where our families gather and find tranquility, fun, love, and acceptance. I am so thankful you show homeowner DIY, young designers, seasoned designers...all of it. We look to learn what we like, what we might want to immulate or reproduce (a look or a feeling in our own spaces) and we learn the inexpensive way (seeing a picture) of what we might not like as much. One of my favorite series was your top 10! I purchased seagrass instead of sisal after reading that series. I especially made an informed decision on the placement draperies and blinds (avoiding that wall showing....always bugged me, but a common homeowner and mistake.) Even with a hair cut, I like to point out what I do want (from a picture) verses what I do NOT want! We are visual people. Thank you for your blog, while I might have given up reading it for Lent, I'm giving up reading the comment section for LIFE! lol E

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  45. I am guilty of rarely commenting. I read your blog faithfully, but usually right from my email rather than clicking through to the website. I am normally one to ignore rudeness, but I love the way you have handled these petty anions. What elitist snobs! So by their reasoning, if I can't travel the world in search of rare antiques, I have no business decorating my home? Design and beauty are only for the wealthy? I believe the average homeowner must rely on reproduction pieces, RH or even TARGET! These sources allow us to create lovely living spaces even on a tight budget. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the designs you present in your blog. I find such beautiful ideas, and so enjoy seeing what each designer has created. Thank you for the time you take to bring this wonderful blog to us. I will take time to comment more often in the future! - Dez :)

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  46. The best way to not fuel the fire is not to respond to them. You do not have to prove validity to a stranger. There are enough of us that love your blog and get so many ideas from it. Rude comments are nothing in the scheme of things. I say just past them by and let them talk to themselves, alone and without out response.

    Sandy, who is Anon because I don't have the right options for posting.

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    1. I am with you 100% Sandy. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Warn the new designers and homeowners that the jerks may come out of the woodowork and then --IGNORE! And I'm in the same boat, Anon cuz it's the only way I can comment. Julie

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  47. The dogs bark but the caravan moves on.

    Forget him!

    Ann

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    1. Love this quote Ann! And oh so true!

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  48. I haven't had time to read all of the comments yet so I'm probably repeating what others have said. I believe that the only way to handle this is for the rest of us to completely ignore the rude, hateful comments. I will not respond to those again. Those people obviously have an agenda that is different from the other readers. Let's please all agree to just scroll past those kinds of comments, as if they didn't show up. They don't deserve your time to respond and they won't listen anyway. I haven't seen that kind of thing on the other blogs I read. This leads me to believe that some are envious of you or just mean spirited. They deserve no attention at all.

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  49. Dear Joni, As a former prosecutor for Los Angeles county, I never made much money. Nor did my husband, who was also a prosecutor and was in charge of every death penalty case in our large county for several years. I feel we did important work and in no way regret my limited income.
    But when my day in court was over, I came home to a place where I could forget the ugliness of the world and be in my own little cocoon. I read many shelter magazines and have a decorating book collection to rival yours - but I cannot afford custom furniture or fine antiques. I in no way feel diminished by this. But my home is very important to me, and I am constantly in the process of changing it. One of the best days of my decorating life was when I received my six Restoration Hardware leather Louis dining chairs. They cost under $300 each, and I couldn't be happier.
    People who are bitter and nasty love to leave bitter, nasty comments. Believe me, I know, as I once was the star of a real-life murder trial broadcast on Court t.v. You would not believe how awful people were to me in the national media. My home has always comforted me, as have my catalog purchases. Nasty, bitter snobs abound everywhere, and in our new "culture", the nastier the comments, the more attention the commenter gets. I vote that we who love your blog just start ignoring these bullies, let them comment and leave them alone. I believe your blog is one of the best there is, and those who choose to try to make it ugly are just sad little people. I am posting anonymously because I don't know how to post any other way, but I will leave my name.
    Respectfully submitted,
    Pamela Bozanich
    Deputy District Attorney,
    Los Angeles County, Retired

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    1. Pamela, you took my breath away with your honesty and your life. Thank you for doing the hard work in your career. I hope your home gives you much love and comfort.

      Delete
    2. Thank you for sharing, Pamela, and for your and your spouse's work in your field.

      I, too, cannot afford much of what I'd like to have in my home. Nonetheless, it's my home and I want to be comfortable and inspired by it daily. Joni's and many other blogs have provided wonderful design inspiration, and I've learned how to mix high and low in my home's interiors (more low, than high!). I was pleased to read Ingris from France's comments above about mixing high and low, and being original. I'd rather have what I have, knowing I've worked hard for it and assembled it over the years.

      Enjoy your RH chairs (and I, for the record, love RH style), as well as the rest of your home.

      Thanks, too, Joni, for allowing me to continue to comment anonymously.

      Delete
    3. Great comment, and thank you!!! I loved your story. BTW For those who love the RH french chairs, but $300 is too steep - check out World Market's chairs. They are a great alternative. 2 for $350.

      I feel honored to have readers like you!!!

      Thanks again.

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  50. Joni~ I am guilty of not always taking the time to comment. I have 4 FAVORITE blogs, and when I see in my email that there is a new post, I cannot wait until I have time to sit and devour the entire blog. Yours is one of those 4 favorites. I love your post today showing your insight into how your feel about anonymous comments. Lots of times I do read the comments (last week I was traveling so didn't take the time for comment section, so I missed out on the hateful comments). I suspect that you know exactly who these people are. You will get good karma for not ratting them out. :) That will hurt them even more. Thanks for all your hard work teaching me about design and antiques. I have learned so much from you. I know you are a busy busy lady, but can you answer one question for me? Do you know where I could purchase the Ikat fabric shown in one of the pictures in your blog today? It has the exact colors I have been searching for for over a year. Thank you Joni!

    Denise

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    1. I loved the Ikat fabric too. Hope someone knows where it came from

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    2. Thats an old picture from the computer - so I don't have a clue!!! but check out Calico Corners - they have a lot of ikats.

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  51. Go girl!! Don't even give these rude comments the time of day. Love the blog!

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  52. Joni, I am new to your blog and love it. I am shocked at the anon comments. I am an Interior Designer. Professional designers design for their clients taste. It's not about us its about them. I doubt the rude anon is a professional designer.

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  53. Bravo, Joni! You covered pretty much all the bases...thorough as always!!!

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  54. I read here from time to time, but I'm not sure if I have ever commented, and I know I have never read through the comments. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy many of the posts. Not sure if you are meaning we need to be commenting or reading the comments??? Most often I would have nothing to say.

    I'm not sure calling out the anon poster will achieve anything and he/she may just leave more nasty comments. I honestly feel the best way to handle the negative responses is to just ignore them. If they get no attention for their ugly/rude comments, hopefully they will just quit. They are most likely trying to get a rise out of someone. Thus the arguments/comments just continue on and on.

    Tina (who also publishes comments as anonymous because I am lazy that way LOL, but I'll leave my email if necessary)
    tinam61@yahoo.com

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  55. Love the post!

    erin
    www.figandcotton.com

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  56. Joni you are one amazing woman. I love your blog and as in life if I don't like something I turn the channel. The only reason for those snarky comments from anonymous commenters is that they have nothing in their life but the ability to spew. None of us take them at their word or believe their opinion means you don't know what you're talking about. We love your blog and we know you are not writing for any other reason than to allow us to enjoy the beautiful homes you encounter. We mostly ignore the nasty comments, hope you can too. xoxo

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  57. For all the "connection" we have via internet, we can now be more anonymous than ever. This gives the cruel people an arena where they can spew their venom. Unfettered. Think of all the people we choose to not engage with at events, parties, or in our homes, because they are unpleasant. Well, that's who this is. The meanies. Asking them to be respectful is a tall order. But who knows, wonders never cease.

    I am in the process of figuring out which bamboo shades to put under the drapes for our keeping room. I loved every single image you posted as it has helped me decide which would look best in this room. You are a great gal to take the time to post all these fantastic decorating options. Thank you.

    Donna Murphy
    Athens, GA

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  58. Joni, I love your blog, your eye and the way you look at design, it's a pleasure to read and I always marvel at how much time and effort you put into your posts! Thank you for all that you do! x Maria

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  59. Herein lies the essence of "designer". A designer should be able to pull from any source and create a beautiful, functional space that meets the requirements of their client. Each space is unique as well as the parameters for which the designer is given. A space can be just as beautifully "designed" by sources common to everyone as a space that has been filled with one of a kind antiques and private design labels. Do we all love beautifully designed spaces and unique expensive one of a kind gems? Yes! But sometimes in design it's not the name or price tag of the item that in itself makes it beautiful but how it is distinctly used in a space. That too is design.
    As for rude comments....just poor manners. Criticism does not need to be rude, just constructive.

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  60. I love your blog and look forward to reading it. Maybe I do not like everything on it all the time, but it is like reading a good design magazine. Rude and disrespectful comments are totally uncalled for. One can disagree, but don't be nasty. This reflects not on your blog, but on them as a person. I have a blog and I know how difficult it is to publish an informative one. You have one of the best and should be complemented constantly. Great job.

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  61. Hi Joni, you are such a dear. Great job tackling this---how to deal with destructive comments is one of the issues that all bloggers face. On our blog, I won't publish them because I don't have the patience for the tempest in a teapot that negative personalities end up creating. I hadn't thought about it, but I suppose the additional danger to a blogger might be that eventually the positive, happy grownups wander off and find better things to do, and the negative people are the only ones left, and I would not enjoy that company. I'll publish comments that kindly and respectfully disagree with me but I am very protective of my friends and colleagues, so those get deleted pronto. Take care and hang in there! You have such a lovely blog. N.G.

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  62. Why is this anon. person reading your blog if they don't like it? Go read another blog then! It is easy to criticize talent, but if they were to try to duplicate it themselves - good luck! They don't realize how much effort and thought go into decorating, nor that there have to be compromises because of budgets and other setbacks. I try my hardest and can't get even close! Honestly, there might be a home or a decorating style that is not my taste, but I understand that that is MY taste. I at least still take away ideas and solutions to decorating problems from each blog update, each picture posted. It is a compilation of artistic ideas. Can you imagine if we did not try new styles? We would never create!
    Whew! Got that out a little. Joni - thank you for your time and effort to post these wonderful decorating ideas. I truly enjoy reading them. I don't have the budget for a decorator, but I feel like I have the closest to one by reading this blog.

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  63. As the saying goes " hurt people hurt people". Your blog is so fun and informative! My favorite! This is so coincidental, in that yesterday I spent the day at antique shops in Houston (MAI), then Mecox on Westheimer and then ended my day at Restoration Hardware where i admired the capital tables. The designer & artist I was with loves the capital tables also. Those other people are silly naysayers.

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  64. Nicole Gill-OttingerJune 26, 2013 at 9:45 AM

    What a wonderful and relevant discussion! I've been known to wear Armani, Valentino and Chanel suits with a (heaven forbid) Gap T-shirt; yes, and purchased Louboutins from a resale store. I call that savvy shopping. Knowing how to combine styles to create a look that oozes confidence and sophistication works in exactly the same way for interior design.

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  65. Dear Joni,
    Looks like Anon got a spanking -Ouch!! It was well deserved.
    I love your blog. Although I have never commented before, today, I feel compelled. Good design and aesthetically pleasing homes should be available to everyone. While Anon looks down his/her nose with repugnance at RH, many of us covet some RH pieces. For some, RH isn't attainable. However, I know that great style is intrinsic and if you've got it, you don't need a big budget, (although a big budget is a wonderful thing). You could argue that having unlimited funds makes decorating easy, the trick is creating a beautiful room without spending a lot of money and that's where talent comes in. Thank you for sharing your talents and knowledge, providing inspiration, creating such beautiful posts, and giving such great analysis on your featured rooms and houses. While every home you feature isn't my preferred style, I can see the beauty in every single one!
    I actually laughed out loud while reading this post. Your comments are hilarious. Anon's comment about shades with curtains being your Texas invention is so absurd it's embarrassing. While Anon cowardly complains and judges, please keep inspiring and instructing. There's no telling how many rooms you've improved world-wide with your "raise the blinds" tip alone! I secretly enjoyed every "smack" you gave in your post. By the time I read, "Horrors, z-gallerie throw" I felt satisfied that even the most dense Anon had to admit you WON!!
    Thank you for championing the use of attainable items in gorgeous rooms. Most of us may never have priceless antiques in our living rooms, but recreating a table-top vignette we saw on "Cote de Texas" and draping a z-gallerie throw on our couch, that is pictured in a magazine can make our homes feel beautiful.
    Regarding revenge, I frequently refer to "The Count of Monte Cristo" when my boys, 11 & 14, want to seek revenge for some wrong-doing. I try to dissuade and I ask, "Did the Count teach us nothing?" I usually ignore babbling idiots, and suggest others do too. However, today, I'm glad you got your sweet revenge! Bravo! Well-done!
    Take that haters!!


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    Replies
    1. I am glad you saw the humor in the post !!!! It was supposed to be humorous. When I saw that picture of the table in HHB, I jsut cracked up myself. it was as if that story was written for me!!

      great comment, thanks!

      Delete
  66. Joni, first, I love your blog. Your posts are always thorough and well researched. Your skirted round tables are brilliant.

    Rude AC's (Anonymous Commenters) don't seem to grasp that Cote De Texas is a virtual magazine that publishes every single letter to the editor. Quite a privilege if we stop and think about it.

    Other things they don't get: a design blog or print magazine is not required reading, it (blog or mag) exists solely to publish opinion based on the author's personal design point of view. That's why we like to read them! If a Rude AC doesn't like the design point of view or opinions of let's just say for example, Elle Decor, would he/she truly waste their valuable time sending an anonymous rude letter? I think not. I'm willing to bet RAC sends his/her opinion by cancelling their subscription.

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  67. Go girl….
    Sometimes in life you just need to talk back.
    Point well made and now onward!
    My design business is called Ahimsa Home.
    Ahimsa means to do know harm.

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  68. Bravo! Eloquently stated! I adore your blog and appreciate the time and effort you put into designing your posts! You have are creative and talented! I adore your style! In Georgia, we would say, "their mamma didn't raise them right!" I am not trying to minimize rudeness by this statement. Currently and sadly, we see so much of this in our country.

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  69. I just woke up and am correcting my spelling mistake above!
    Ahimsa means to do NO harm.

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  70. I don't compliment you enough, Joni, but you're a role model for our team at Paris Perfect. We appreciate how you find and promote ideas and emerging designers. We especially appreciate how gracious and kind you are when you're under attack. It's a special person who can be that kind. As all of the above have said so beautifully, well done and thank you! Thanks also for all the photos -- we save favorites in a 'Cote' folder and refer to them for new projects in Paris. The new Beaujolais 2 bedroom apartment on the Left Bank is a compilation of a dozen of your ideas -- http://www.parisperfect.com/apartments-for-rent-in-paris/beaujolais.php -- and we thank you!

    Dear Anon,
    Didn't read them, but your blasts single-handedly brought Joni's blog more traffic and subscriptions than she could ever hope for. I and thousands of others just clicked on Jodi’s response this week, and on Amanda’s website too! Keep up the good work.

    Helpful suggestion: You clearly have time on your hands and may be looking for extra income. Email the Marketing Director at Restoration Hardware and point out your posts last week. Those blasts brought more coverage and positive exposure to them than their entire 2013 ad spend. Who knows, maybe they'll make a 'dump-on-us-to-double-our-traffic' offer you can't refuse.
    Best regards,
    Maddy

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  71. I adore your blog and what I call "Texas French" decor. I've commented one other time... guessing which designer's interior you posted ( I was wrong..boo ). But as for the negative thoughts on using RH...how silly. A home should be functional as well as beautiful. How many times have all of us gotten a Pottery barn catalog or Ballard design's catalog and thought "wow that is exactly what I have been looking for!" I grew up in a home filled with antiques - I get it. They are pieces of art.But I learned very early on, as a Mom of two boys, that you have to choose your furniture wisely. A high-low mix in decor is more interesting to the eye and much easier on your checkbook.For publicly putting people down on a forum like this ...it's easy when you go under anon, isn't it? Attacking over decor??? laughable. You would of had to hit somebody with a chair from Restoration Hardware for me to react so strongly.If ya did hit someone with a RH chair ..at least it probably wouldn't break.

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  72. So happy you finally decided to stand up against the blog bullies!! I enjoy reading your blog, I don't always share your enthusiasm for every room or home you feature, but that's the beauty of it all...we don't HAVE to agree, we just have to learn to all get along! Thanks Joni...and just keep on keep in' on! ;)

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  73. Oh Joni, I still can not understand why people who don't care for something insist upon making a grand stand for their point. This is, as you said, a blog, a very well written and researched blog, that gives thousands, including me, a lot of inspiration. Even when something is posted on your blog that I don't particularly affiliate with aesthetically, I still appreciate the time that it took for the person who put the space together, and for the time it took you to do the post, and therefore, respectfully move about my day. That's what well-adjusted adults do.
    Using catalog pieces for our clients is a necessary part of the job. How often can we, as designers or decorators, or even home owners who want to go it alone, find the pieces that we know work best for a room in our local stores? We don't all live in Los Angeles, or Dallas, or New York, or Atlanta. When we have clients, we have to know what they want, but also, how they want to live in the room. It's very obvious that the designer of the room with the two RH capital tables knew exactly how to give the client what she wanted, for the period in her life where she's using the space as she's using it; with two children who want to play and call their house a home.
    I think the harsh reality of our business, of any art driven business, is that we're all going to be subjected to critiques. Some of them just plain nasty. But to dish on someone for using catalogs to help pull together the vision for the client, well, I'd like to meet the person who doesn't! It's next to impossible!
    As another anon' commenter said in this string, the mix of high and low is something that keeps a room fresh and interesting. Sure, there need to be things in a room that are personal, that have a story and a provenance, that hearken back to a time or a place that is special for the homeowner, but we also need comfortable seating, and furniture that is appropriately scaled, and the list goes on. Hell, even if you think you're getting a great deal on a sofa at a Main Street design store, guess what - it came from a CATALOG, perhaps a wholesale catalog, but a catalog none-the-less.
    You keep doing what you're doing Joni, and I hope that the designer you featured keeps doing what she's doing. She did a great job, I particularly loved the dining room, and it's obvious that the homeowner is elated! That, at the end of the day, is all that matters.
    xoxo,
    A

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    Replies
    1. What a great comment!!! thank you my friend.

      Im not sure how i would decorate w/out some help from PB and RH, etc!!

      Thanks Artie~~!!


      Delete
  74. All that anonymous posting is such piffle. I can't believe you took the time to address it. I find it more and more difficult to get to the blogs I want to see and to post on my own much less monitor comments. I hope you keep doing what you love and sharing it with us. I have opinions but I enjoy and appreciate what you post.

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  75. I was truly dismayed when it was revealed that the homeowner had no fore knowledge of her home being featured on this blog and that internet exposure was at the request of a designer she had hired. 'Awkward' was my next reaction when Jerissa revealed that a friend had shared the news re: blog story. I found it truly appalling when her home was then torn into by nasties! I thought Jerissa's gracious comments were helpful and nicely 'rounded out' the story. Example being the choice of dark beams in dome relating to other elements in the home. I had always assumed that when a home is featured on a blog, in print, etc., that the homeowner had given permission. Truly curious: How does that work? ~susan

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    Replies
    1. The designer sent me pictures and I asked if i could show them. I loved them from first site - and still do! The VAST majority of people loved her home - and I hope she realizes this. The few anons particularly hate the "Houston Look" and her house has elements of that look. I also hope that Amanda is flooded w/request for jobs.

      I assume if the designer sends in the work, she has permission of the homeowner.

      Delete
  76. Joni, I've been reading your blog for a long time and I don't believe I've ever commented (sorry!!), but I just had to after reading this. You are BRILLIANT. And a total class act. I was laughing the whole way through this. You not only taught me some valuable things about how designers put together pieces for maximum impact, but you also proved your point against the rude Anon with sophistication and humor. Cheers! -Haley

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  77. If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all,wonderful advise. The internet gives such a feeling of anonymous, bet they wouldn't say that to your/anyone's face-hmmm maybe they would! You do a grand job with your blog just sorry you/anyone has to put up with snarly comments + You go girl, well said! xxpeggybraswelldesign.com

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  78. Wow. Joni, your blog is fabulous and you do a wonderful job showing us dream houses and reality houses. Maybe this "mean girl anon" is just a little cranky because he doesn't have any clients. Sorry we had to spend so much time on this. I did love revisiting some of the rooms that used "catalog" items. All I have to add it this...
    Princess Diana mixed rhinestones with the royal jewels and was considered chic so why can't it be done in home decor. Only the talented can find the right mix and make breaking the rules fabulous, fun and affordable!!

    Monica

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  79. I started following your blog a few months ago and look forward to receiving the emails whenever you update it. I am not a professional designer, just someone who appreciates design and enjoys gathering inspiration from the homes featured. Please don't let a design "snob" get you down. It is encouraging to me when I see the homes that incorporate furnishings that are accessible to the rest of us. Keep up the good work!

    Dawn Tofte

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  80. Joni - I LOVE your blog and appreciate so much the time and effort that you put into it. It gives your readers a great design fix and doesn't cost us a thing! I have consulted you many times by culling through your previous posts on seagrass, sisal, blinds, curtains and so many more topics. It's nice that you took the time to respond to that anon idiot - but honestly you didn't need to!! Your true fans could care less about that person's ridiculous accusations and assertions. Keep up the great posting and don't give it another thought! Bravo to you and YOUR vision!! Marguerite Burke

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  81. Score: Joni 100+ Mean & Nasty anonymous commentators -0 ~ but we already knew that.

    I don't always leave comments but I do read every single post written on CDT. I have always appreciated your candidness, willingness to list sources, share a WORK IN PROGRESS (which is so beneficial to the learning process versus the perfect "after" photo) and lastly that you are so gracious about sharing your spotlight to highlight new designers and talented homeowners.

    EVERYONE deserves to have a lovely home. What one person deems lovely might not be a favorite of another. But that is what makes this wonderful world go round.

    By the same token not everyone can afford top of the line, to the trade interiors. But does that mean they should have to sit upon a cardboard box? No. Again, everyone deserves to have what they consider a lovely home and to be treated with respect.

    I make my living providing middle class, wonderful salt of the earth people with home interiors they love. You can never put a price tag on happiness and joy and sometimes happiness and joy comes from Homegoods.

    One last note, I can afford a really good sofa but chose the Ikea Ektorp because I have a husband, two kids and two dogs who I want to make sure feel like this is truly OUR home, not MY home.

    Joni~ you also might be very interested to read what happened over the weekend to Erin of "Elements of Style". It is a case of social media misuse and quite scary.

    http://www.elementsofstyleblog.com/2013/06/what-ive-learned-this-week.html

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  82. I enjoy your blog so much! You are an inspiration and a true Southern lady.

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  83. Thank you Jonie for making a reasoned appeal for 'comment etiquette'- I have learned to ignore the 'loons' who make a habit of thinking anyone cares about their mean-spirited opinions.
    People who welcome your blog into their lives are here because we appreciate and enjoy your design perspective, style and point of view.
    Design is very personal and there are many looks, feels and ideas that are interesting and different. We are all unique as human beings and so goes the world of design!

    One option that might be worth exploring is a "delete this comment" option for all readers. This offers the option of simply "Deleting" the offensive comment right from our screen as we read along each day.
    Let us know if you need 'reader feedback' that goes to your Blog Sponsor so we can help make this appeal for you!

    Keep up the great work. We love your blog and we will not 'feed the wild animals' that might find their way into your blog!
    Happy Design Day to All!

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  84. Joni, I read many interior design blogs (too many), and yours remains my very favorite. Your posts are consistently full of useful ideas, beautiful inspiration, and above all, entertaining commentary!

    I love the democratic slant of your posts which highlight good and bad design in both stratospherically expensive and "real world" homes.

    All this fear-mongering about RH, real antiques, woven blinds, etc is missing the point about successful interior design. Satisfying the eye and providing luxurious comfort can be achieved in a million different ways, and on almost any budget. Demonizing specific elements is overly rigid and strait-jackets the brain, in my opinion.

    Look at Coco Chanel. She made it okay to use jersey underwear fabric for clothing!! She made "fake" costume jewelry chic. She changed the world by ignoring conventional wisdom and snobbish categorization a. Innovators are not afraid or inhibited by other people's opinions or limited world views.

    You go Joni! Thanks for speaking up today!

    Judy Brown

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  85. Hello Joni, Thank you for your blog and the time you apparently put into it. I appreciate all that you do! By the way, I don't have a gmail account, therefore, I sign on as anonymous, but alway sign my name.

    Bravo
    Andrea Elliott

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  86. Funny I didn't even notice the reply to my comment.

    I've been designing homes for 10 years. The wovens under draperies has been done before this blog was started so yes I've done installed shades under draperies without the influence of Cote de Texas. It's in fairly recent years that cheap wovens have become available, before that Conrads were the option & they are anything but cheap. What a silly thing to say. Not that the blog isn't influential and great.

    Thanks for this post Joni it was great.

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    Replies
    1. Just last month in House Beautiful - a designer said she had gotten all of the bamboo shades at "Tarjay" aka Target. Bamboo blinds were being put on windows in Virginia in the early 1980's. I think everyone in the south uses them because it's so damn hot here. You need them to keep the sun from eating the fabric of your window treatments. I am sure Texas uses them so often for that reason too.

      Delete
    2. So many places have good woven shades! Tarjay certainly has well designed items that I don't hesitate to put in clients homes, not to mention my own. I mean how many people have unlimited budgets? Good design should be at all price points. We do have a bit of a heat issue here in Texas. ;)

      Delete
  87. The Anon commenter that you mention has to be the most snobbish, arrogant person & seems to be have been living under a rock somewhere. Joni, you gave fine examples of high end designers that use a mix of high & low items in decorating. Obviously, he (commenter) doesn't seem to be too studied in the area of design or he would have known this. I have even seen many well known designers use Ikea pieces in rooms mixed with high end furnishings.
    One other thing I wanted to mention that you may not have thought about Joni is by allowing the nasty comments by the cowardly, hateful Anon's, this may keep a number of homeowners from wanting to have their homes displayed on your blog. I know I am one of them. I am a small time, local designer with clients that have small budgets and REAL lives (kids, pets, etc) who don't want to spend a lot of money on items that may be broken or ruined. I believe my & my clients homes are beautifully done on a budget, but there is no way I will submit pictures to be displayed on your blog to only have the "Haters" tear everything to shreds. AND, I don't need to see their nasty opinions anyways... if my clients are happy, I'm happy.
    I believe the commenters on your blog don't have to be phony in leaving comments on a home that they are not particularly thrilled about, but I do believe that they should refrain from leaving a nasty, negative comment if they don't like it. Really, WHO wants to hear it (honestly)?!!! The old adage "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it" really rings true.
    Keep up the great work, Joni!
    Kat

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  88. Joni, I'm always anxious to read your weekly blog because, without question, it is my favorite. (Plus you're from Houston as I am even though I live in DFW area now). I'm appalled by these rude anons who clearly have nothing else in their lives to keep them busy. It's so simple to me: if the anons don't like what you post, or feel the need to be critical....they could just not read your blog! Oh the need to feel superior! And my best friend hired a decorator from Dallas to furnish her new home in Southlake. She got some beautiful chandeliers and accessories from.....guess where....Restoration Hardware! RUT ROW! AND guess what. She even has the dreaded ....(drum roll.....) CAPITAL TABLE! Double RUT ROW! I think these bully anons should really get a life. Finally, my favorite quote is one from Bette Davis, "Birds always pick at the sweetest fruit!" I LOVE your blog!

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  89. Joni, I don't think I've ever left a comment before but today I feel compelled to respond. I love you! I love your blog! I subscribe to many design blogs but yours is my favorite. I love your honest, down to earth, style, your no snob designer approach, and, most of all, your beautiful breathtaking design photos. You introduced me to Jane Moore and Pam Pierce, two of my now favorite designers. Ignore the small minds. They are sad, unhappy people. Be happy and continue to spread beauty. Thank you for your blog.

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  90. Joni I love your blog. I am one of those readers who drool and dream over most everything you publish. Sure there are features that don't float my boat but so what. Still enjoyable to see all the diversity in design. As to Rh ,sadly I am a teacher living on a teacher salary. No Rh for me or sometimes for that matter HomeGoods. Lol So it is flea markets,Craig list and garage sales. My home will never be featured in a magazine. But I love it and it is a work in progress. I am not a design snob and dislike those blog posters who are. Anonymous and those of his/her ilk are living in a bubble where I am sure life is perfect. Ha. Obviously not content with his life or himself. Nuff said. Keep on keeping on girl!

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  91. Joni,
    I always remember the saying, "Hurting people hurt others."
    So hard, I am sure, for you not to address these internet trolls when they are saying ugly things about someone who has been gracious enough to let you share their work on your blog. Kind of like taking up for a friend in the schoolyard.

    Great post!

    Vikki

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  92. This blog is my favorite. Has been for YEARS! Sincerely, I started reading Cote de Texas when my Ben was a tiny, napping baby--and it was often the highlight of my very busy, baby-filled day. When you featured my sweet little {affordable, main-stream, budget-oriented} house on your blog, I was so excited I could hardly stand it. It was an honor, Joni. And the comments were, thankfully, kind and lovely and fun. Am certain your Anon commenter suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder! And, he/she loves to throw around fancy, condescending words--but he/she clearly is not an educated/ASID/trained professional. Keep the goodies coming--you're the creme de la creme in my book! PS For what it's worth--when working for Douglas Associates in Denver, CO we used Conrads exclusively, always under beautiful custom drapery! There's another part of the country loving those woven shades!

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    Replies
    1. I skimmed through the comments and am glad I caught this one. I just found this blog right after my baby was born in Nov 2012. It is often the highlight of my very busy, baby filled days, too! Maybe one day, my house will be featured, also. :) Ok, now I'm dreaming crazy!

      Delete
  93. Bravo, Joni!! Keep posting pretty pictures... :)

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  94. I follow a lot of style blogs and I must say I have never seen the vitriol and mean spirited comments that I see on yours- It seems a harmless enough blog- so why does your's incite such hatred?? I have commented on this before - I just blows my mind - After all , Ladies - IT'S A STYLE BLOG

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    Replies
    1. I think, Thomas, it's because Joni doesn't edit out the nasty comments. Many bloggers edit.

      Delete
  95. Joni, I highly respect the work that goes into your blog. I know you spend countless hours researching and finding examples for your posts. Sometimes, this involves scanning pictures from older sources not available online. You did an excellent job of refuting the anonymous posters' comments. Yes, Restoration Hardware is a valid resource and woven blinds are used in many homes worldwide. I subscribe to many design magazines (I have years stacked up on shelves), I have countless books on interior design from around the world and I read various design blogs on a weekly basis, so I have seen the many pictures and references available out there. This just proves that some of these anonymous posters who claim to be so worldly and knowledgeable, really are NOT. They are sad individuals. The whole Restoration Hardware issue makes me angry. Yes, it is nice to have antiques; however, not everyone can afford them or live with them in all practicality. Restoration Hardware caters to those who have expensive taste and appreciate nice pieces but cannot afford an original (or they have children or pets who would ruin a costly original). It's practical for the way many of us live today. I would absolutely love a $10,000+ antique marble bust. However, I will settle for a $300-$400 plaster or resin antique replica from RH or another source if it looks tasteful. Joni, thank you again for your wonderful blog. I haven't posted in a while because I feel my posts get lost in the anonymous rude ones; however, I had to speak out about this topic and support you. - Ashley in Houston

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  96. I read the title of this post and thought "Ohhh this is going to be good!" While many of us can aspire to live in interiors that look like AD, it's like thinking that you should dress head to toe out of the pages of Vogue: neither practical nor feasible. I have a friend who is completely remodeling her home and is *thrilled* with the pieces she selected from RH, which will sit happily next to her antiques. btw I have long admired the rollup shades you show, under the drapes. Here in Southern California the sun is very strong; silk will be eaten up in a year, plantation shutters obstruct the views and the rollups seem like the perfect option. Great post, Joni!

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  97. Bravo, Joni! You rebutted nasty Anons' comments perfectly. It does make me sad that such people inflict their venomous views on blogs, giving no credit to the work that goes into creating them, much less the interiors they reflect. Why is Anon so arrogant in his/her opinion? Who made him/her the arbiter of style and taste? His/her insistence on only using real antiques and the finest custom upholstery, drapery, etc. reminds me of the snobs in junior high school who looked down on anyone not wearing an expensive label. I'm no psychologist but seems to me such vocal disdain reflects their own insecurity that they have to value their own worth in how expensive their clothing, jewelry, houses, interiors, artwork, and cars are. In so doing they close themselves off from other people who are not so worldly and sophisticated (or rich) and confine themselves to a world where one is judged by what they have. More pity them. I imagine most readers, like me, can't afford the finest antiques or homes off the pages of Veranda or Architectural Digest, but we love to look at them. We look for ways to incorporate certain looks without the mega budget, and you do a good job of showing that. I'd like to point out that Restoration Hardware is expensive for a good many middle class shoppers whose incomes put it even out of reach (especially when raising a family, educating children, or living on retirement). Personally, I love to see those designers/decorators who use their creativity to find an interesting salvaged piece to give a room character. I think a lot of the RH pieces are copied from such innovators. I do have to say I love many of RH's light and bath fixtures. I do wish there was a way to banish the rude Anons. But they're to be pitied rather than feared. There is no perfect taste. Otherwise, this would be a very dull world, indeed.

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  98. Joni--
    As a Texan, you know how unwise it is to get into a stink fight with a skunk. However, I do believe you won handily and came out smelling like a yellow rose. You go, girl!

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  99. Growing up I learned that if one cannot say something nice to keep one's mouth shut. I am not a person who comments much but I feel that my dad would say to anonymous negative posters that if one cannot say something nice to indeed keep the comments to their self.
    That said, Joni, I enjoy your blog. My taste in home style is much different than yours. I appreciate all that you bring into your work.

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  100. You are a much better person than I am. I read the Elements of Style kerfuffle and understand that mean crazy people can steal IP/web sites and post as their own. I still stay out the buggers and if the IP has been hacked, I think sane people would want to know that. As that most wise of Supreme Court justices, Louis Brandeis, once said, "Sunlight is the best disinfectant." Other than that I don't know how difficult it would be to have below each comment a "Flag as abusive" button so we, your posse, could do the ID work of the hateful Anons for you!



    ps The tribute to your mother was touching, honest and beautiful.

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  101. Joni ...I am not a regular commenter, but this post has struck a nerve. 3 words for your nasty anons ...GET A LIFE! I personally browse these blogs for inspiration and reading pleasure as do most readers and I feel it is a privilege to be invited via blogs into private homes. Like a good design magazine, blogs span the decorating spectrum. Of course, we all have different taste be it good, bad or ugly, but your personal aesthetic doesn't have to be that of the blogger, designer or homeowner to appreciate a post. The reality is, nastiness is usually rooted in jealousy. Bloggers who generously share photos and material with their readers, should not be subjected to negative attacks, and blogs should never be an open forum for the miserable. Need we remind adults the time worn lesson our mothers taught us? "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".
    Denise

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  102. You go girl! By the way, your master bedroom is such a beautiful mix of pattern and color. I love that it's both cozy and sophisticated.

    Thanks for all you do.

    --Suzy in Tulsa

    ReplyDelete
  103. Joni, I am proud to be one of the 88,000 ( and going strong ) who come "visit" and LEARN from you everyday! Keep on, Keepin' on!!!

    xoxox,

    Ivy Lane

    ReplyDelete
  104. Joni, I am your #1 fan...but not the creepy kind like Annie Wilkes from Misery...HA! I wish there was a more convenient way to research some of your past blog post like top 10 design elements or some of your really early post. It seems like at one time I remember that being in your side bar of your blog. I know you have a lot on your plate but your post are truly the best read out there. My favorite are the ones about your house! My daughter loves Elizabeth's jewelry and want me to get her a few pieces when she starts back to school!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stacy - just to jump in, I've always found it's easiest to find a specific blog post by going to google and searching the blog name and the blog title, or key words. In your case: "cote de texas top ten design elements" which brings up all the posts. Hope this helps!

      Delete
  105. Joni,
    This makes me want to run right out and get a Google account just so I don't show up as Anon! Way to hit it out of the park with your rebuttal! I love reading your blog, love your ideas and appreciate all the work you put into creating a post! Thank you Joni, and "Keep it going girl!"

    Cynthia DP

    ReplyDelete
  106. Hi,
    I usually don't post a comment because I take this blog by email. So I didn't even realize all this was going on ...very sad. I started to write my view of the commenters but decided it is best to ignore them .

    But I cant resist at least commenting on the two examples you discussed here.
    one example is actually one of my favorite things to do :

    putting bamboo or woven shades under drapes. I love that trick. I want to comment about this example because I learned about doing this in the 1960s and maybe before that . I was a child then of course :) I seriously used to devour design magazines as a child. So I learned about it from major magazines such as House & Garden , and of course they featured ultra famous designers and the homes of ladies who lunch. and many many formal LIVING rooms had drapes with woven blinds under them. Many of the drapes even had fancy fringe trims .

    I have since used this trick in almost every home I have lived in since. ... and I am not a child anymore.

    In College, and once again when I was in my forties, I used blond matchstick blinds I got from Pier One . I got the large blinds from Pier one and took them to a hardware store and had them cut to size. The men there always told me they were going to fall apart .They never did. Sometimes I had to adjust the placement of the cord, but that is easy to do, The cottage I did this in was even published in a national magazine.

    Why did I love this ? It is instant texture, it is instant whimsy ( all rooms should have whimsy) instant layering, additional color . People always forget that wood tones are a color. You can add a paint or fabric color that matches the wood blinds and the most important thing is it adds height to the windows. I don't think I ever actually used the shades. The top of the shade was even with the height of the drapery rod, which was well above the window and shade was rolled down to the top of the window ... instant height. Also you don't have that funny blank spot on the wall when you raise the drapery rod well above the window height


    I was going to comment on ordering from catalogs , but this post is too long . sorry


    anyway I love this blog. I think you do a great job

    thank you

    Jeanne

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  107. Thank you Joni for such a great post!

    Amanda is truly gifted in her approach to design and I have been a big fan of hers for years. In my opinion, these mean comments are just as absurd as telling an artist/painter that because they didn't buy the most expensive paints in the world, their work is not considered art. The pieces used in a space are the medium and the art and creativity is how Amanda beautifully pulled everything together, while addressing the homeowner's requests (livable, durable, etc..). Not too mention how Amanda beautifully overcame some challenging design issues (the beams in the ceiling).

    I am so inspired by what Amanda did in this space and to knock her for something as so stupid as where she chooses to buy some of the pieces used is absolutely ridiculous. I cannot imagine be so limited that I miss out on absorbing great design and creativity because I was so caught up in where something was purchased and how old it is. Thank you Amanda and Joni for always inspiring me!!

    ReplyDelete
  108. WELL SAID JONI! LETS NOW HOPE IT IS WELL TAKEN!!!!!! I love your blog because it is my taste. Perhaps all the nasty ANON's need to find a blog that is totally their taste. There are sooo many out there for all age groups, design styles and budgets.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Dear Joni, I would dare anyone to find fault with the designers you mentioned who use high/ low in their designs; however then an Anon would!
    As my Mother always said if you cannot say anything nice, don't say anything at all!

    I often post interviews and feature artists of all genres. I do not have the following you do, yet if someone makes a rude/ mean/ inappropriate comment. I hit delete!
    That Would be a full time job for you; and I am not sure your request will help. The attention seekers are like children who have to argue and say nuh huh to whatever you respond with!

    Oy, a problem that I wish I had an answer for you!

    xoxo
    Karena
    Giveaway from The Enchanted Home!

    ReplyDelete
  110. Joni,
    Love your blog. It's eye candy for my decorating soul.

    Keep up the marvelous work sharing your "finds" and comments with us and let the stink bugs go.

    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  111. This behavior is an age old problem with anonymous anything. And blogs have what are usually called thread hi-jackers. They want to throw off the discussion and make it about THEM. They are rude and bullying but mostly sad little people who have to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral. If you ignore them they get louder and meaner. If you engage them they are getting what they want-ATTENTION. I guess they should be acknowledged to stop the hissy fits with a "bless your heart" or "is that it? So?" but ignoring them completely is best. Just scroll down past the boobish behavior. Most of us read this blog because it is beautiful, fun, interesting and informative. That is four things that most blogs are not.
    Bebe Elliott

    ReplyDelete
  112. I faithfully read every word of every post at Cote de Texas, however I NEVER read the comments and was shocked to learn that this sort of thing goes on!
    I consider you and your guest designers an authority on home decor and have gleaned so much knowledge from your blog. When we moved into our home last spring, I poured over posts looking for ideas for the perfect paint color for our interior walls... I found it in your May 5th 2012 post on titled "The Southern Acadian House" and now my walls are very happily painted Sherwin Williams Ermine and the doors and windows are Sherwin Williams Anonymous (funny that the name of the paint is the subject matter of your post today).
    Thanks to you, I received in the mail last week my samples of Farrow and Ball Silvergate wallpaper in all the neutral colorways because you mentioned it in your June 5th 2013 post "PART TWO–RACHEL’S RISE", and I'm so glad that you did... it's the perfect pattern for our dining room and had you not shared with us the name of the pattern and source I would still be searching.
    Not only do you and the designers you feature, give me invaluable decorating ideas and advice, you also serve as validation... a topic if I remember correctly, you covered not long ago. For instance, when I first saw the post "Before & After–From Dark and Dreary to Bright and Stylish", I was immediately pleased and validated with my choice of fabric I recently used on a pair of slipper chairs, because it is the EXACT same that Amanda Carol chose for the striped settee in the foyer!
    I have also shopped some of your sponsors and really appreciated the Lewis and Sheron Textiles coupon that you offered your readers in the September 17th post "WEBB DESIGN: A Redesigned Family Room", it came at just the time I was ready to buy fabric for our dining room chair slipcovers.
    Regardless of what Cyber Bullies say and do, YOU are doing a fabulous job and I and your readers appreciate all the free design ideas and all the peeks inside of homes that we would otherwise never see.
    To sum things up, in the words of Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along?"
    lsfarr76008@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  113. Oh and where is Anon now? Certainly not speechless!!?

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For one who shows up on every design blog site on the web, (and most often the first comment) you would not have a clue about "speechless" would you?

      Delete
  114. Having waded through fifty percent of the comments, and being a rather regular reader of this blog, although I rarely if ever read the comments, I was struck by the absence of remarks that the large fabric pattern chosen for the two high backed chairs, whose pattern apparently made it impossible for the crafts person to cut and sew the fabric as if there were no seams. Personally, I love pieces of furniture that choose a beautiful fabric pattern on the back, with a different fabric on the seating faces. But, I think that dramatic effect can be counterproductive when a large fabric pattern is placed on a curved back that results in the chairs in the photo. As to the RH issue, I do not patronize that company but would rather hunt down a true antique. But that is RH's business model, and it's a free country. As to the distressed "capital" end tables, the angle of the photo struck me that the two tables overpowered the scale of the sofa. But that is my taste, and perhaps standing in the room I would not view the proportion issues in the same light. Marlene from California

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    Replies
    1. In the original post showing the RH home, the poorly executed or perhaps poorly chosen fabric on the wing chairs was discussed at length. I agree with you, the capital tables were two bulky for the space. Together, they are close to six feet long. Their length and the space between them, would be about the length of the sofa.

      Delete
  115. Joni, interesting post and well researched as usual. It does appear that you in fact proved Anon's point that those designers who have used catalog or retail pieces did so in combination with much finer pieces and other decorative elements. That was the distinction Anon drew between delivering "a truck load" of RH and actually designing the space. Despite the usual ooohing and ahhhing that typically runs the gamut of your comments, there were those who were honest enough to draw attention to Amanda Carol's lack of creativity by questioning the over use of RH and some of the specific pieces. Amanda Carol featured pictures on her website of this project and it is clear that it is a spacious home and most likely an expensive one. For this reason, I would have expected the owners to have had higher expectations of the designer who was really at the core of most of the comments. As to the bamboo shades so often seen in your work, perhaps as you noted it is more of a camouflage in some cases than a thing of beauty. In the majority of your photos, the windows would have been more beautiful without the shades; however, I know you are big on trends. As to Amanda Carol, it is not to her credit that she published a client's home without prior permission. That should tell you a lot about her judgment and consideration for her client.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, you sound just like the "unsigned anon" we are talking about.

      Deborah

      Delete
    2. A couple of thoughts.

      Every new, young homeowner in a beautiful, spacious house most likely has followed the dictum "location, location, location". In these unsettling times, real estate, once the absolute best long-term investment the average person could make, is now fraught with difficult decisions: will this location, at the very least, keep its value? will this house grow as my and my family's needs grow? as careers change, will it work for differing commute needs/telecommuting/reasonable resale in a timely manner?

      That, more than anything, tends to drive the decorating budget. We used to call it "house poor". You do the best you can with what you have; buying those items of furniture that will stand-up to the needs of family life, look beautiful when entertaining family, friends, and (if anyone ever does this any more) business associates; and, most importantly *look the way you want it to*.

      I am in my late fifties. I've moved 23 times in 37 years, and I've built 5 custom-houses along the way. Eight years ago, having poured heart-and-soul into my "last house", my "dream house", my Husband unexpectedly died. I had custom everything and gorgeous antiques we brought back from three years in England as well as stuff we collected along the way. My Daughter was expecting our first GrandChild and I quickly realised fine mahogany finishes and Little Boys don't really mix. When I finally admitted I needed to downsize to accommodate my sudden, changed needs, I sold it all except for a couple of cherished pieces. I drastically changed everything, and I've never been happier... I own my stuff. My stuff doesn't own me.

      Perhaps too many decorators without Children are unaware of these considerations?

      Anyway, my new house has been much more challenging to decorate than my dream house. All I had to do then was write cheques. This one, not so much. It's a merry mix of a couple of fine antiques, farm auction vintage, Ikea (I now have four GrandSons...silk custom sofa? are you KIDDING me?!?) and beautiful custom pieces inherited from my Parents (who have also passed on). I love it.

      As to the blinds/curtains thing. If you've ever gone to Colonial Williamsburg, have a look at the window treatments. Venetian-style blinds under very complex and beautiful curtains made of silk, hand-blocked cottons and linens and wools, damasks, and so on. That's what I have: real wooden blinds under linen. Keeps the heat in, the sun out, and nosy neighbours at bay. Definitely predates your blog, Joni, which I absolutely love...by about 250 years ;)

      Laura.

      Delete
  116. Bravo AND touche! Love this article - enlightening and made me laugh too :-) I think having a blog exposes you to all sorts of people you wouldn't meet on your own - lots of crazies out there - as some might say. You handle it very well! I receive a very manageable amount of comments on my blog so am able to screen many of the mean comments but as you say -it would take you all day long! Job well done. I might not always comment (you get so many!) but I always read :-)

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  117. Joni, imagine if everyone's taste in decorating was the same? Wouldn't that be boring? Variety is what makes decorating blogs so fun to read and look at! Why would one be critical of a product or choice of style? Anyway, I love your blog and, like others, have learned a lot from it! Of course, we all have our favorites, and yours is one of mine!

    Julia

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  118. Dear Joni,

    I am faithful reader for years who rarely comments. Your blog is one of the few I read, and I'm always so happy to see a new post. I have learned so much from your blog over the years, and it's always such a fun learning experience (except for the Anon. commenter). I don't usually read the comments, but today I've read them all. I think your post was so right on and so are all the comments I've read. It sounds like this problem person needed to be addressed. I really admire you for being so democratic about acknowledging the value of the opinion of even the rude Anon.

    A couple of comments stand out to me. I do think this amount of attention must be beyond the wildest dreams of even the most dysfunctional narcissist. So I'm with those who say, let the caravan move on! (I've never heard that before, I just love it!)

    You're the best, Joni!

    Jane in California (no web site, no g-mail account)



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  119. I suggest that maybe you should ask your readers to just completely ignore the rude commenters. If you don't engage, it can't escalate. Shut them right down. I once spoke to a person who worked with abused women and she said she always tells them that they should leave the room when their partner starts to become verbally abusive. If you're not there to argue with it takes away some of their power. If you just ignore the rude commenters, eventually they will realize they aren't getting satisfaction and they will go elsewhere.
    I will tell you quite honestly that my taste is completely different from yours. You will not find a single piece of seagrass, slipcovers or anything white in my home, and that's fine. I do enjoy seeing the homes you showcase because there is always something that will inspire me, whether I like the decor or not. I also think Amanda is very talented and has a very bright future ahead of her. I love the changes she made to the house. Classic, yet contemporary. Perfect for a young family with a style that will evolve with the family as they grow.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Hi Joni,
    This is my first comment, although I've been reading (and enjoying) your blog for quite a while. It's a pity that snarky and nasty people have such a tendency to ruin comment threads for the rest of us--can't say how many times I've stopped reading because the degeneration in tone happens so quickly. Thank you for addressing the problem. I especially like your statement that if you wouldn't say something in person to the person you're criticizing, you shouldn't write it in a comment. It is cowardly to say behind the cloak of anonymity what you would not say to a person's face.

    BTW, people might not be commenting because they (as I do) read your blog as it hits the inbox, rather than making the effort to go to your site. Maria Killam (color expert) sends her blog to my inbox, but only the first few lines--when I click on "read more" I am sent to her blog site, where I can comment. Could you do the same thing?

    ReplyDelete
  121. Joannie, I love your blog because of the quality and quantity of the photos you show. You really invite us in to view the entire home, not just a select few rooms. I also love that many of the homes are a "work in progress" just like mine and most people that I know. Can a home ever really be finished if we are also raising children, working and getting on with our lives? Thanks for today's post about respect. It is why I usually don't bother to read the comment section. I know what I like and I although I love to learn, I also believe what my Grandma always said; "what is one man's meat is another man's poison. This is particulary true in the design world where styles and choices are abundant.

    Sylvia in Atlanta

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  122. The only criticism of the previous house that had real validity to me was the prints not matching on the back of chairs in the living room. That is not acceptable quality of work at any price point. However, it did not detract from the over all beauty and design of the room. One thing I find amusing though is just how seriously people take interior design. It's all just stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Design is ultimately about inspiration and the details vary just as human beings vary.

    I apologize for those who have upset you and your guests and designers.

    I am always so amazed at the generosity of those who share beauty with others and you are one of those people.

    Cheers! Trish

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  124. I don't mean this as a slight to any of the designers mentioned in this blog, but mixing high and low is the hardest thing to do in interior design. Most of these examples have more misses than hits and I wouldn't necessarily call them success stories when it comes to mixing Restoration Hardware with de Gournay, for instance. In my experience, mixing like this can cheapen the expensive aspects of the room rather than the intended purpose of elevating the inexpensive pieces (it highlights bad finishes specifically, which we all known, is a real deal breaker). There are only a few lines out there that can truly be mixed in, and even then it's very specific items from those sources. I do love the quality of RH linen drapes though and find adding an expensive trim to the edges enhances them even further.

    J

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    Replies
    1. I agree that mixing must be expertly done and as you say. If one can afford de Gournay, why then invest in RH. Not all of the designers quoted and shown in this post are what I would refer to as "big names". While I am not questioning their work, nor the pictures here, HB doesn't have the same standards as other design publications.

      Great idea you shared about RH linen fabric.

      Delete
    2. Exactly my point - there is about $20,000 worth of hand painted wall covering in that room, but the client couldn't saddle up an extra $2,000 for an authentic chair? Go on 1stdibs and you will find 50 chairs that are better looking AND reasonably priced.

      J

      Delete
  125. Thank you for putting so much time, effort and emotion into this post. As with many of your posts, I learn so much and get inspired.

    Now that you've dealt with that head on...time to move on and focus on all of us that enjoy your insight and opinion. There are a lot of blogs out there but yours in one of the few that I read from start to finish. :)

    Best,
    Tracy
    *Interior Designer from sunny California where woven shades are used regularly!

    ReplyDelete
  126. Dear Joni, I am so sorry to read all this about the rude comments you receive. I thought it was only young people with no manners who acted a way like that. It´s kind of chocking imagine that there are grown up people who read this kind of blog and act this was. I must admit that I don´t leave many comments, but I love your blog and really enjoy every time that I see there is a new and always inspiring post. Best regards from Stockholm, Sweden, sincerely Helena Ryberg

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  127. I hope your readers will actually go to your source for the pictures of Benjamin Dhong's work. He is an extraordinary talent and he did in fact use several pieces of RH. When you scroll down to read all of the sources in this particular project, he used only two or three chairs made by RH but had them recovered in Belgian linen. What pieces he used that were catalog pieces, Dhong changed them to make them custom for his client. If you read the source credits in its entirety, he probably has 5% or less catalog style elements.

    ReplyDelete
  128. I've always considered the onslaught of detractors a sign of success. Congratulations, Joni! You are the best, my dear.

    ReplyDelete
  129. May I offer a different viewpoint based on personal experience with this blog? About a year ago, I stated a personal opinion that was different from Joni's.....just adding my own perspective... I did so politely, intelligently, and I signed my name. I was then ripped to pieces...not by Joni of course...but by her readers. I was shocked that so many people were so angry with me for differing, and asking challenging questions. I haven't commented since...and would certainly hesitate to sign my name again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, my experience as well. It makes you wonder if these are intelligent readers worthy of a discussion or is it a cult following?

      Delete
  130. I think that many people today look at the internet, especially discussion boards and blogs, as a place where they can say anything they wish, be as mean or as hurtful as they wish, without repercussions. As long as people don't have to sign their comments, even though signing with an assumed name is still anonymous, they feel empowered to keep up the dirty work. I rarely comment on blogs. But I have spent many years active on various decorating boards such as BHG and Gardenweb. This situation will not change as long as people don't have to attach a user name to their rants. It's unfortunate but true.

    RedinCa

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  131. Joni, I remember telling you years ago that the Anon went by "Rainhound" on RMS. I knew he was a man back then, don't know who he is... does anyone out there know who rainhound was? It is the same person. He gets a kick out of making us mad, but he does know design.

    ReplyDelete
  132. If it's Rainhound, he does know design which is probably what makes Joni and many of her readers so angry. A real free spirit he was if we
    are talking about the same person.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, we are talking about the same person. He and I became RMS friends, I know he has kids and they teased him about being gay because of his love of design. I missed him when he got fed up and gave up...

      Delete
  133. Joni,
    Please don't waste anymore time on these types, no one cares what their opinion is. Let's all agree to just ignore the nasty people in life and continue to enjoy sharing and learning from each other.
    To the wonderful designers and homeowners who are kind enough to share their personal spaces....Thank you!

    Georgia Girl

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  134. Joni, I guess I don't understand people sending negative comments at all. The old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say..." The blogs are there for us to read, look at, enjoy....if you don't like what is on one particular blog, don't go there. There are so many and something for everyone's interest. I think you do a great job and I enjoy seeing what other people do with their houses. I am not interested in what someone else thinks about that. I don't like every style I see, but we each have our favorite styles, designers, etc., and to criticize someone's site seems quite unnecessary. They should just move on. judyjack

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  135. OMG!!! Joni I cannot believe people actually have the time to go back and forth with you via comments. Just as judy says above.... there are a million blogs for a million different tastes. I, for one, love mixing Restoration/PB/etc with high end pieces and antiques. I think it gives a room character. And I love Amanda's work!

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  136. Joni,do not give this one more thought or moment of your time. The World Wide Web is a big, vast world, and it's full of kooks and scaredy cats who refuse to confirm their identity, but can't wait to use their cloak of darkness to diminish another. Let them be. Your blog is beautiful and it's very informative. It's good to see some banter back and forth, and it drives your Google rankings up actually!!! Keep doing what you are doing, as I believe that most of your readers TOTALLY appreciate you!

    ReplyDelete
  137. Joni you truly have a wonderful & supportive group of readers. I was saddened to see that a few nasty anons could cause such a stir. I refrained from commenting in the first post because I know all too well it would just add fuel to the fire and as one commenter put "you dont get into a stink fight with a skunk" - love that!! But I will comment here today and say "thank you" to all of you who said such sweet and beautiful comments about my clients home. I will tell you this- she is the sweetest, most gracious, and humble person I have met and it was truly an honor to work with her and her home. I was sick to my stomach over some of the comments and sort of felt like a mother hen wanting to protect her from those comments. As to the mean comments about me as a designer- a dear designer friend recently said to me that "what you think of me is none of my business" so I chose to stay out it. Again thank you Joni for being excited about my project and willing to share it on your blog and thank you to your readers for your encouraging and sweet comments.

    Amanda Carol Interiors

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  138. Several years ago, I abandoned my own design blog because of some nasty comments made towards me and my curtains-turned-tableskirt. I was thin-skinned at the time, and it caused enough doubt in me that I just never was in the mood to publish again. I don't have a large budget. Heck, I don't even really have a small budget at times!! Sometimes, I'm trying to work with NO budget - using what I have or reimagining something.

    Fast forward a few years, and add in a baby, I still love to peruse the blogs to get ideas and inspiration. Do I always love everything I see? No. Does everything I see always work for me?? No. But as somebody else said - that's what makes the world go round. It keeps life interesting! Plus, as somebody who works in a showroom, I know that what works for one person doesn't always work for another. There is something out there for everyone, and I firmly believe that your home should make you happy - even if that measn cabbage rose wallpaper circa 1986!

    Thank you for your beautiful blog! It is always so evident how much work you put into it, and I love reading!

    Rachel

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  139. Amanda, can you explain why you chose to give photographs of your work in your client's home for publication on Cote de Texas without her knowledge or prior consent? It doesn't really comport with your suggestion that you felt like a "mother hen" wanting to protect her from comments. Wouldn't it have been advisable to have done your thinking before?

    ReplyDelete
  140. Terrific post Joni and as always, very informative and today, much like a poke in the eye with a sharp stick! In the world of fashion there is saying "Style is a look, not a price." which is why you see so many beautiful women mixing a T-shirt from Target with an Hermes scarf, a Burberry bag and a pair of Toms. The same is true of interior design and you've demonstrated that beautifully in your post today. As for Mr. Anon, I would follow Coco Chanel's admonishment: "I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all."

    Looking forward to your next post and thank you -- they are always a treat!

    best,
    linda

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  141. I just love your blog, approach, and words of wisdom. You are always professional. Keep up your wonderful work. I look forward to it.

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  142. Thank you, once again, for a marvelous post! This should shut the anonymous posters up, but it probably will not. They come off as
    narcissistic fools. It is so sad but please don't let a couple of idiots lessen your joy.
    Your blog is the best interior design blog out there. I always enjoy your posts and get lots of inspiration.
    Don't let them rain on your parade or they win.
    All The Best,
    Barbara
    Ohio

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  143. I LOVE your blog, and I always look forward to receiving it -- not only that, I save it to review. Sad to say, but there are some "ornery" people out here; I run into it frequently on political comment boards. Anyway, I want to thank you for sharing your talent with us. It's quite obvious that you put a lot of time and effort into your blog...and it always oozes beauty and information; I especially love your O&As. You're so kind to share with us. Thank you. I mean a big, huge THANK YOU! ox. Marilyn in Mt. Vernon, VA.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Great post!

    Don't understand why some people balk at using store bought pieces in combination with custom or one-of-a-kind pieces.

    Isn't that what "design" is all about?......using a combination of things to create a beautiful living environment.

    Those who comment with rude or nasty or degrading statements are just plain bullies with low self esteem!

    Thanks Joni! Gina from the Midwest

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  145. I don't know if this has been addressed yet, because after about 20 comments, I have to stop reading because I just don't have the time. However, I hope "Anon" as well as other readers will learn something very important when I say this: AN IMPORTANT REASON NOT TO HAVE PAINTED ANTIQUES IN YOUR HOME IS THE LEAD-BASED PAINT! Have you ever tried to keep children off of the coffee table? It is a HOME, not a design set. It should be a haven of comfort and safety. Lead paint causes CANCER, PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE, ADHD, AND OTHER BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS. Ingesting even the tiniest chip of paint can result in lead poisoning. Paint on antiques chips off easily; it can stay on your hand and be ingested accidentally. Also, unless you have a central vacuum that is vented to the outside, ground up lead can be blown into the air by the vacuum. Inhaled lead dust IS absorbed. No matter how much money someone has to buy antiques, why would they RISK POISONING THEIR CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN OR PETS?

    ReplyDelete
  146. Is this a new nasty phenomenon or trend? Erin from Elements of Style (blog attached) got blasted not by an anonymous comment but rather from a hacked account of a local designer. Why can't people simply enjoy a beautiful blog? Your blogs are gorgeous. Thank you for the continued inspiration=:)

    http://www.elementsofstyleblog.com/2013/06/what-ive-learned-this-week.html

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  147. Joni-
    With such a readership- it might be a good idea to get some assistance with moderating the comments. You don't want to jeopardize the integrity of your blog with honest readers, but you don't want to intimidate future submissions either. I'm sure there could be a happy medium. Perhaps a moderator could collect questions/inquiries about particular design elements and a follow up post could allow the home owner/designer to address? Timing, and a delicate sensibility are everything.

    I know a good local girl who would love to help.

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  148. Joni,
    I love your blog, it always inspires me whether the home is something I'll never be able to afford, it doesn't mean I don't want to see homes like that. I agree with one of your other readers, I would say it doesn't pay to engage people that can only spew negative comments. The part of this that baffles me is that with 2 million+ blog sites, why do they bother reading your site if they feel you don't feature designers they deem worthy of whatever they consider to be talented? You are always so fair and honest and to each his own taste wise. One person's idea of the perfect home, no matter how beautiful, will never completely satisfy another. Crazy stuff. Thanks for always posting what I consider to be fabulous homes and information.
    Karen

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  149. I've never posted before, but I have to say, Preach it girl! We will never all agree on design elements, but we should all strive to be kind and respectful, ESPECIALLY when we disagree. I hope, with many others, that that particular "Anon" will stop commenting on your blog (and all the others he/she probably comments on). I, for one, am thrilled for the bits of inspiration I glean from your blog, and simply appreciative of the varied design tastes of others in the areas I don't like. Whether I like a design or not, I can always learn something, which is why I read in the first place. So thank you for what you do. I'm just sorry you even had to deal with this in the first place! - Sabrina

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  150. I just wanna say, Joni, that i enjoy your blog.
    Congratulations from Portugal

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  151. The fact that you continuously put in 100% on your inspiring blog is a true testament to your strong character. Joni you rock! Always your fan, Anna xox

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  152. Joni, I enjoy your blog it is inspiring and beautiful
    Tara

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  153. Hello Joni, I your blog, just for the record....HOWEVER....you have been royally "played" by the bad guys. Their outrageous comments deserve to be ignored NOT highlighted! Isn't it much more tasteful, and more well mannered to focus on all of your lovely devotees, than to try to "one up" those buffoons??
    Your way too good for this nonsense....your blog is lovely and inspiring!

    Barbara A

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    Replies
    1. It looks like the pity party was a great success.

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    2. Meant to add - when are cocktails served? Surely your sycophants deserve a bite to eat and a drink for your virtual sip and see.

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  154. I LOVE your blog...made a typo!
    Barbara A

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  155. Love your posts Joni and never mind the trolls.


    By the way, I love that brown Suzani!! I want one!

    ~Pam

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  156. Oh, I have a question about the shades under the curtain thing. I have a one way draw drape and wonder how it might look to use a shade under it to cover the expanse of wall. I'm mostly worried about the hanger on that one side showing and I'm not sure where to put it so it won't show. Any ideas?

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  157. Off topic:
    I wish I could afford to hire you for our house... and that you lived in my city. I have tried to find a good designer in my area but so far, no luck. I take them pictures of what I like and they give me blank looks and/or seem offended that I would try to control their creativity. Can you write a feature about how to find a good designer... what to look for... what to ask.. etc. Currently, I'm lost in a new world.

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