Heading towards the Oscars, tonight was the SAGS – the Screen Actors Guild Awards. The actors always seem truly thrilled to win a SAG which they often say, that when first issued their SAG card, they truly felt like they were actor. The SAGS and the Global Globes give a hint to whom might win an Oscar, so these awards are important to the press and odds makers. To us? It’s just another night of beautiful men and women dressed up in beautiful and ugly outfits.
First Award of the Night: Worst Speech. Andrew Garfield, hands down. His speech introducing Sally Field and awarding her the Lifetime Achievement Award, was so cringe worthy. Why did he have this honor? He was so condescending. She has won TWO Oscars, for God’s sake. It was just awful – laughing about Gidget and The Flying Nun. Even Sally looked embarrassed. Yuck.
Best Speech was James Hong of Everything Everywhere All at Once. In his 90s, he gave a wonderful and very funny thank you speech and was awarded the time to ramble on and on as long as he wanted to, a rarity in awards shows.
FASHION:
At the Golden Globes – Silver was the star of that night, silver that looked like wrinkled aluminum foil. So many stars were dressed like old TV dinners. The stylists obviously noted this overuse of that look and abandoned it for the SAGs. I saw only one wrinkled aluminum foil dress at the SAGs:
Jessie Buckley wore this terrible, wrinkled piece of aluminum foil. Her stylists must not have gotten the memo that this look was so overdone at the Golden Globes that it was not to be seen again. Despite the wrinkled tin foil outfit, she is such a wonderful actress (see her in her Oscar nominated role in The Loving Daughter) – but I hate to say, that orange hair is just terrible.
Onto the Best and the Worst of the SAG Awards Looks
The Year of the Matronly Breast Dress.
Usually the breasts in these dresses are exceptionally large, high up on the chest, and are - well - just too revealing.
Jamie Leigh Curtis’ breast were really overflowing and voluptuous. What kills me is how beautiful and smooth and unwrinkled her chest is compared with her normally aging face. And kudos to the ONE star who has refused plastic surgery. But look at those chalupas! Wow. I wish mine looked that good and we’re almost the same age. Besides the Breast Trend, hot red dresses were another popular choice tonight.
Jennifer Coolidge’s breasts were also out there with a huge cleavage that reaches up to her chin, probably because of the major shapewear she wears. She looked gorgeous as usual. Wearing unadorned black, she went against the trend of the adorned black dress that was all the rage tonight. Saint Laurent.
Joely Fisher was in another Matronly Breast exposure, but I’m not sure what was going on with her right (or her left) breast. It just looks odd, like there’s a cup over her breast but it doesn’t fit and half the breast is coming out the bottom of the cup.
Patricia Arquette’s cleavage was camouflaged a bit under sheer fabric that went all the way almost up to her chin. Too much fabric on the arms and hem, it would have looked better had she tailored the dress and cut half that sheer trim away. It had the makings of a pretty dress which is a shame.
Lisa Ann Walter aka Scarlett O’Hara. See?!?!? There were so many of these pushed up big boobs tonight. What’s the deal??? Without the pushed up boobs this was actually a beautiful dress, but all you could see were her pushed up breasts – with the tiny bit of netting between those massive globes.
Do you recognize her??? She was in The Parent Trap, playing the housekeeper Chessy. Her date for the SAGs was the actress who played Meredith Blake.
Amazing. Best movie ever!!
Gennera Banks and Jonathan Banks
Now here is a Breast Dress that needs a pushed up bra. How do you walk out of the house like this????? Sew up a seam a few inches.
Audrey Plaza. The opposite of the matronly bosom is the Empty Cleavage. God almighty this is hideous. When she was onstage for her ensemble win for White Lotus – Plaza’s costar told her her under breast was showing and she tried to fix this fiasco. She looked typically extremely angry. Her dress was too long with too little material. Terrible.
YELLOW DRESSES:
Besides all the red dresses, yellow or gold was a major trend.
Angela Bassett was stunning in this bright yellow net dress. I would have done her hair in a tight bun, but she was gorgeous regardless.
Giambattista Valli – LOVE HIM!!!
Viola Davis was gorgeous in this shade. She has worn the color before. She was stunning and look how she handled her cleavage! Thank you Viola! LOL
Custom Valentino
Niecy Nash was another in yellow. And notice how big busted she is, yet, she looks so elegant.
Vera Wang.
Claire Foy in goldish yellow. Just limp and unfitted and awful. This is another “EMPTY CLEAVAGE” dress.
BLACK EMBELLISHED DRESSES
Ana de Armas in a silvered black embellished gown with unnecessary bows and a ta-da EMPTY CLEAVAGE! Just don’t like this look at all. Louis Vuitton shocker.
Haley Lu Richardson in pearls and black sequins. Meh. Carolina Herrera.
Jenny Slate. Dress falling off her arms with her bra showing. What is with these designers today?????
Zuhair Murad – he is so much better than this. Much.
Kerry Condon
In custom Louis Vuitton.
Beautiful. I would have put her hair up, but very very pretty. Chic.
Amy Pohler. She never disappoints. Always in a bad dress. Always. She needs a new stylist in the worst way.
Lucia Aniello
Oh Lord. What IS this???
Quinta Brunson
In Jean-Louis Sabaji
A giant clam shell. Another terrible dress. But, I have to say, Quinta was a wonderful host, so funny and with an adorable personality and aura.
Laura Linney. Embellished silver and black. Weird neck design. Christian Siriano. I should have known. Most overrated designer in Hollywood.
Cate Blanchett looked beautiful. Her dress was prettier onscreen, less dominatrix. Again, her cleavage was respectable.
ANKLES ON DISPLAY
Another trend seen was shorter dresses, finally! After years and years of dresses that were so long you couldn’t even see the pointed toe of the shoe – ankles and shoes were on display.
Here Kathryn Newton looked darling in her 50s inspired Carolina Herrera dress.
Seth Rogen’s wife’s shoes were barely showing. I would have made the hem shorter still.
Sarah Burns
Mid calf here.
Rynia Kando
Another 50s style, complete with the frame purse. But, yet another terrible stylist: hair, jewelry and dress.
THIN TRAIN
Another strange trend were thin trains. Amanda Seyfried wore this short dress that was ill fitting along with a train???? Prada.
A train, not a bow.
Hong Chau
In Fendi Couture
Don’t ask. Ill fitting with the long train that looked ripped and stepped on. Of course it was! Idiotic.
And Claire Foy again, with the tiny train.
The Harry Styles Wannabes
Paul Mescal. Runner up Harry Styles Wannabes winner with his sheer embroidered coat.
Paolo Camilli. Harry might wear this, but it’s probably not chic enough for him.
Mark Indelicato in something I think Harry Styles would definitely wear.
Jordan Firstman. This is more Machine Gun Kelly than Harry Styles. Again, not chic enough for Harry.
Tyler James Williams. Harry might wear a suit like this.
I don’t think Harry would ever wear this, but who knows????
Well, there you go.
Eddie Redmayne
In Saint Laurent
I can see Harry wearing this exact outfit with the exaggerated bow. It’s very elegant, not camp.
Winner of the Harry Styles Wannabee Award!
Runner Up Worst Dressed Award:
Julia Garner in Gucci. Gucci??? So awful. Clam shell breasts. Shell sleeves. What???? The chain work is stunning but otherwise, it’s b-a-d.
Jessica Frances Dukes
In Marc Bouwer
Another Empty Cleavage dress, Jessica looks like she is choking. Maybe she is hiding a neck brace from an accident? Is that it???? I googled it but didn’t find any news of an accident. Maybe the only accident is the dress???
If she has a neck injury I am very sorry.
Jessica Williams
In Rosie Assoulin
Is she awake???? This is just terrible. Terrible. The runner up worst dressed of the night, poor thing. Maybe she was sleeping and didn’t realize how bad her dress really was.
THE WINNER OF THE ABSOLUTE WORST DRESSED
Winner of two SAGS tonight, Michelle Yeoh. OMG. Those sequins. This is just beyond terrible! It looks like shredded documents. Remember when we had shredders for our tax returns, etc. They looked like this when shredded.
Schiaparelli Couture.
Close up of the shredder paper.
RUNNER UP BEST DRESSED:
Michelle Williams in Dior. Always classic. It’s simple, but pretty and very elegant. Love the bow. Very 40s Hollywood.
Close up of her black velvet bow. It looks like the dress might be a lighter black or dark navy. Pearls with red lip.
Cara Delevingne
In Carolina Herrera and De Beers jewelry. No one cleans up better than Cara.
Look how absolutely gorgeous she looks in this wonderful dress with pants underneath. The red lip is beautiful. Runner up best dressed.
It’s hard to believe she is the same person that was photographed in L.A. just a few months ago by the tabloids looking like a homeless person.
Just a few months ago, people were questioning her mental status after these photos of Cara in dirty clothes and socks were published.
Here she stunned again at Princess Eugenie’s wedding, wearing a man’s morning suit with tails and top hat! And a toothpick! The toothpick was the most important accessary!!! LOL. Now this is someone with a great stylist.
Gorgeous.
Runner Up best dressed: Emily Blunt in Oscar de la Renta. I think the dress is a bit too long, but it’s so pretty, very Oriental in design. I’ve never seen anything like it – in a great way. Her red lip is perfect. I would have styled her hair differently, but compared to all the other dresses and looks at SAG, she was a standout.
Close up. Her movie – The English – is excellent. My favorite this year. A must see, two or three times, to totally understand all the detail and mystery.
HAND DOWN.
Rooney Mara in Alexander McQueen. Beautiful. Different, but interesting and what divine fabric.
I’ve rarely seen Rooney look bad. She has a wonderful sense of style and a great stylist.
BEST DRESSED OF THE SAGS, HANDS DOWN.
Zendaya in pink roses. Valentino. Zendaya is always the best dressed at every award show. This dress was a gasper. It fit her coloring perfectly and her hair was styled wonderfully for the dress, like a Marilyn Monroe hairdo. Her jewelry was beyond beautiful. This is just perfection.
She even changed and almost upstaged herself, but this is the runner up of the evening for Zendaya. This necklace reminded me of the iconic tiara that Princess Eugenie (again) wore at her wedding.
The tiara inspired necklace with the center emerald.
Her makeup was reminiscent of Twiggy with the drawn on bottom eyelashes.
Can you imagine being her????
Sigh…
As always - spot on!
ReplyDeleteYES, YES, YES......totally agree!!
DeletePlease leave a comment with who you think was best or worst dressed!!
ReplyDeleteMichelle Williams Best Dressed. Claire Foy is number two. We flat chested girls love a deep v. It makes us look taller. I can not see the back, but I would wear this dress and bring it in a bit so v not as wide. Now for Tyler hand pose. His hands are in “the point of the spear” he knows Hollywood is done. His hands are telling you this. Look for the same hand pose in members of our military and in Trumps portrait. Terrible crimes. Trafficking. Black Mail. Ankle bracelets… indictments. Enjoy the show!
DeleteThe man is simply just holding his hands together. Get real.
DeleteWell I agree, lots of bad dresses. However, I do like Ana de Armas dress. I think she looked beautiful. Really all she needs is her face!
ReplyDeleteThere's not much more t/b said...YOU are da bomb!! That choker!!! Pink roses...5 Stars!!!!! franki
ReplyDeleteSuch a funny read!! Your top picks are spot on. Enjoyed this. Ugh, the boobs displays are just awful. And it's a very aging look. Just tacky as we say here in Tennessee.
ReplyDeleteLol. Tacky in Tennessee!!!
DeleteJoni, I have followed you for years and have always enjoyed your posts and have learned so much from you, but unlike most of the comments here I have to say that I am disappointed with this particular post. I may agree with a few of your ideas, but it seems like you have become really harsh with some of your comments and criticisms. These are real people (believe it or not) and I bet some of them actually feel hurt by what has been said here for all to read. Is a few cringe worthy laughs at their expense really worth it? I'm sure that you are a much kinder person than you come across as in this post... at least I really hope so!
DeleteI do think you are spot on accurate for these dresses, however just wondering why when I’ve made a similar comment about an interior it’s not printed. What’s the difference ? You are being critical. Nothing wrong with having an opinion. As everyone has one.
ReplyDeleteNot sure what you mean at all? I do not censor comments good or bad. I never have!! Not sure why yours didn’t show up
DeleteBut it wasn’t a choice on my side. You are always free to leave a negative comment about interiors.
I've stopped watching these shows, mainly because I have no idea who most of the people are and I hate the red carpet shtick. My usual thought is these are women (mainly) who can afford the best and they end up looking ridiculous, why the out there boobs on mature women? What are they trying to prove? The prints, embellishments too ridiculous. Jamie Lee? Please, still looks like a man. The guys? Why? Love Eddie Redmayne, but why?
ReplyDeleteWhy is dressing like a bad drag Queen interesting! Zendaya has some class, the rest are just embarrassing.
It’s unkind to say Jamie looks like a man. She looked fantastic and chic. She’s stayed true to herself and her short hair is very her. Just because she doesn’t have cascading hair ?
DeleteI've always like JLC androgenous look.
DeleteI agree with you on Emily Blount’s movie “The English.” So good!
ReplyDeleteI love all your posts! and couldn't agree more on this one!
ReplyDeleteSpot on you are again Joni! This trying too hard makes them look repulsive to me. Have they lost what real glamour is out there? Certainly the jewelry saves the day for many but frankly I might like 2 dresses. Pitiful!! Many dragging the floor, those crazy thin useless trains, feathers up your neck, hanging sleeves, just yuck!
ReplyDeleteJoni great post. I don’t get why the women insist on hoisting their breasts up like this so painful.. and not a good look. Natural looks great and to be honest Jamie Lee Curtis looks beautiful in her dress and her cleavage looks as it should and pretty. Good seeing a mature gal looking like she’s not trying too hard just being her. True style. The yellow dresses looked great. I didn’t like some of the extreme hair looks parted down the middle. Emily Blunt looked the best to me. Fun to see the men stepping out of their comfort zones.
ReplyDeleteSo far no one has mentioned Zendaya. Oh well. Emily was just beautiful.
DeleteNo you were totally correct on that. I love Zendaya and particularly at the SAGs. She looked totally gorgeous as always. Perfect taste and she wears the clothes, they don't wear her. Obviously the best dressed. And all your other comments were spot on!
DeleteLooks like it was the year of the boob--either more or less! Yikes! Most of the actors/actresses fit into the worst dressed category. Whatever happened to the beautiful Hollywood people?? I thought Viola Davis was the classiest! Just gorgeous! And I agree with you about the best dressed woman--Zendaya. Perfect, from head to toe.
ReplyDeleteThere you go I spoke too soon. Zendaya!!
DeleteMs. Fisher doesn't need a face lift...there are fillers and Botox now that make one look younger. I am sure that she has some help.
ReplyDeleteNow it’s time for you to post pictures of yourself. Matronly hag with no class whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteOooh. Yes. I am a matronly hag which is why I don’t go on camera and show myself off because I know I don’t look like I’m 40
DeleteOr 50 anymore. I’ll be 70 in two years.
Of course your anonymous KAREN. It's her blog if you don't like it move along. Buhbye.
DeleteYour post is you talking about you. Karen. Pathetic. you. Backlash please. You after all all can only spew while being invisible. That my dear is a bore.
DeleteBeyondbeige, You were a teacher? It’s “you’re”. Grammar and spelling challenged much? Quality teachers know simple spelling, grammar and how to mind their own business. Peace out!
Delete"You're means "you are". "Your post" is correct.
DeleteI see Belle Watling not Scarlett O'Hara......
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny, I laughed out loud and the puppies came running in to see what was going on! Thank you Joni.
ReplyDeleteI’m out of the loop on most things movie/ Hollywood related so I always appreciate these posts. Michelle Williams was my favorite- Viola Davis and Zendaya were stunning, age appropriate and for me the standout difference was they bothered to style their hair. I’ll never understand the bed head look with a formal dress/suit. I know they’re artists not models but it’s like they (Emily for example) overslept and didn’t have time to finish getting ready. My only disagreement with your analysis was poor Angela Bassett - what on earth? She’s arguably the most beautiful woman in the business and that dress looks like it was swiped out of a little girls dress up trunk. I think you got it backwards- Her hair was fantastic but that garment needs to be put out of all our miseries. Ouff! Thanks again for another fun read, Joni!
ReplyDeleteYour observations are spot-on, Joni! You're really good at critiquing the outfit (and the designers) without ad hominem nastiness aimed at the actors and actresses, all the while noting details like hair and jewellery. And ... I thought you were WAY younger, mid-late 30s! Who knew, eh :)
ReplyDeleteOh! Almost forgot ... was the photographer trolling Mr Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, ever so slightly? The camera angle leads to an interesting, er, profile ;)
ReplyDeleteGreat commentary and observations…a fun read. Wow, the next dress was worst than the last and so on….just a few dresses were attractive and/or were tailored correctly….lots of bosoms!…lots of terrible hair…lots of huge eyebrows! But, what do I know. Thanks for this post, I cannot stand to watch these shows for reals! 😂 Best, V
ReplyDeleteJoni, you make me laugh.. “Is she awake!” Laughed all day thinking about this.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed reading this article. Your comments were hilarious. Thanks for summing up the awards show.
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Yes, agree Zendaya is fabulous, wonder where she shops.... And like your other best picks. So many of these dresses are ugh. Shopped for a black tie wedding recently and saw many dresses like the worst of these. What are designers thinking? Many not flattering to a woman's anatomy. Or their stylists aren't pointing out they don't suit the woman herself highlighting or baring an area that would be better covered.
ReplyDeleteReally missing Joan Rivers these days,
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Ah, you've made me chuckle, Joni, once again. I think, and not for the first time, if women with stylists, money, access, and MIRRORS, look at those getups and hydraulic smooshed boob horrors and sashay to the red carpet, there's no hope for—as one of your charming commenters said—the matronly everyday hag. Like me! Cheers!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the levity, Joni- perfect timing to balance out some real challenges in my life. A lot of these get ups were real head scratchers. it leaves one to wonder if their stylists like them or aim to sabotage their image! Zendaya is stunning yet I've never heard of her, but then I am distracted with personal matters, so I tend to live under a rock. Sometime if you have nothing else to do, LOL, it would be fun to see a post on some of the iconic outfits and styles that have aged well. I'm thinking the original Sabrina, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Annie Hall, Love Story, To Catch a Thief, anything with Katherine Hepburn for suggestions off the top of my head. As always, thanks for the hard work to deliver these posts. Best, K
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